


Hole in your Face

by abcdefghiluvyou



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cock Piercing, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Gore, M/M, Mental Disorder, Murder, Twincest, character death (but no sad ending), make sure you WANT to read the following:, the following tags are TRIGGER but also SPOILER WARNINGS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:19:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcdefghiluvyou/pseuds/abcdefghiluvyou
Summary: Baekhyun's twin was the first. The one who was with him from the beginning, the one who took care of him and protected him from harm when his dreams twisted into nightmares. But he's also the one responsible for them.





	

There was a sudden sense of déjà-vu when hands closed around the give of his hips and that was the only reason Baekhyun didn’t freak out.

 

He didn't snap, that's not who he was, but the tips of his ears tinted pink with anger as he turned around and backed away. The hands didn't let go of him, but the second Baekhyun realized who was holding him his annoyance dissolved and he wanted to whimper and sigh. He coiled away cowardly instead, but the pink wandered from the tip of his ears to his cheeks where it glowed warm and bright and embarrassing.

 

Up close Park Chanyeol was devastatingly handsome, even more than he was from afar where Baekhyun always watched him. His friendly eyes and open smile rendered Baekhyun speechless, as did the sudden close proximity to his long-term crush.

 

Baekhyun was internally dying, shriveling up like a raisin left in the sun, dehydrated and all, because he felt his mouth drying and his bones turning brittle like pressed ash when Chanyeol's smile twisted into a smirk and his hands around Baekhyun's hip tightened.

 

Chanyeol pulled and Baekhyun stumbled forwards ungracefully, his form falling against the taller boy's broad chest with a dull sound. He just barely managed to swallow down a squeak before long fingers slipped up his sides and grabbed his chin.

 

His head was tipped back, the fingers around his chin curling, and Baekhyun felt his lips wobbling in distress as he looked up and in Park Chanyeol's dark eyes. He felt his breath hitching in his chest and his heart beating wildly enough to leave him dizzy while thoughts of panic and confusion shot lightning fast through his muddled brain. Pressed up close against the other boy he was barely keeping himself from fainting while Chanyeol looked down at him unfazed.

 

Baekhyun stared with wide eyes, utter confusion hanging on his tongue, but then Chanyeol leaned down close enough for their breaths to mingle and Baekhyun's brain shut down as he instinctively shrank back from him. He whimpered somewhere at the back of his throat and felt the blush on his cheeks deepening when Chanyeol laughed quietly at the pathetic sound.

 

Confused and embarrassed Baekhyun let his head hang low in shame, thankful for his messy bangs falling into his red face to hide him away. The fingers let go of his chin after they squeezed his flesh for a second longer, but then grabbed back around the give of his hips.

 

"Hi, babe," was murmured into his ear with a voice so gravely deep that Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden shivers running down his spine. They were pleasant, tingling in a way that had Baekhyun's cheeks flaring with heat again and his lungs felt too full and oddly quivery when he took in a shuddering gulp of air. He only started squirming when he felt Chanyeol's warm breath tickling the shell of his ear.

 

Baekhyun's face was bright red, his shaking hands fisting the fabric of his own shirt without noticing it and his whole body was tense and stunned in shock. He didn't understand how he got into this situation all of a sudden. This close to Chanyeol, his hitherto untouchable crush, reality seemed tipped out of balance, surreal and bizarre.

 

Baekhyun felt out of place, as if he'd woken up in an alternative reality without noticing it, or as if he had somehow blindly skipped events that had led to this very moment. This was reality, though, and up until this moment it had been as boring and uneventful as always.

 

The day had started as any boring Monday morning had, getting up too late, dressing too messily, skipping breakfast in favor of sipping coffee while trying not to wince, drowning the bitter aftertaste with a choco milk which Jongdae had tossed him as soon as they met up at the university front gate. Then was the start of their 8 o'clock lecture in the main auditorium. Jongdae liked to call it 'the spiritual abyss of human sanity' but in reality it was nothing but a sleep-inducing lecture-monologue about human subconscious and psyche.

 

Baekhyun was almost sure that each and every participant of the course had been just as fooled by the interesting course title as he and Jongdae had been, only to snooze away the first two hours of university week in the endless rows of the auditorium.

 

They'd had their mid-morning coffee afterwards and at Baekhyun's grimace and failed attempt at bravado Jongdae had drowned his laughter in his paper cup of hot americano. Not even chocolate syrup and milk had helped Baekhyun to drown the bitter poison in his own cup and after a while Jongdae had been nice enough to suppress his laughter and pretend not to see Baekhyun's mouth drooping into unhappy frowns whenever he sipped on his beverage.

 

University was the start of adult life, though, and Baekhyun had been adamant to finish his coffee before tossing it into the bin, thankful that Jongdae hadn't commented on its still somewhat full state. He had bid his friend goodbye after they'd made plans for late lunch. Then he had hurried to his locker for gum.

This was how he had found himself pressed against psychology major Park Chanyeol, a third-year senior and Baekhyun's crush since the start of the semester. His gum and with it any other thought he'd had on his way to get rid of the disgusting taste of coffee in his mouth was long forgotten now, and all Baekhyun could think about was that he had no idea what was happening to him.

 

Was this even reality?

 

“Babe,” Chanyeol repeated and Baekhyun was pulled back to the here and now as he shivered and muffled another sad noise.

 

He flinched away a little more, out of Chanyeol's tickling breath's reach and clutched his shirt in distress. Baekhyun didn't understand why Chanyeol's sudden proximity was wrecking him the way it did, but embarrassment and panic were slowly creeping up his chest, clutching tightly around his heart. Baekhyun vaguely realized that he was starting to make a fool of himself with the way he behaved.

 

Fingers curled back around his chin and not a second after his head was forcefully tipped back again. Gasping, Baekhyun snapped his eyes wide open and shook off Chanyeol's hand, stubbornly looking back down, but apparently the senior would have none of that.

 

Large hands grabbed around Baekhyun's hips, this time pulling more insistently until Baekhyun's abdomen pressed against Chanyeol's crotch and against the senior's hard– _wait._

 

Baekhyun jerked his head up so suddenly that the top of his forehead slammed against Chanyeol’s chin with enough force to rattle his brain and to knock out the senior's teeth. They broke apart blinded by the bright lightening of pain, and it was so bad that it brought tears to Baekhyun's eyes and had him grabbing his locker blindly to steady himself as he listened to Chanyeol curse and then groan in agony.

 

Through the tears Baekhyun noticed with relief that Chanyeol's teeth were all still intact and that the senior had leaned back and away from his personal space. It made breathing a bit easier, though the confusion was still there.

 

"Chanyeolsshi–" He gasped out the same moment Chanyeol bent back to his full height to grimace at him.

 

" _Chanyeolsshi_?" The senior parroted, mouth twisting into a frown as he eyed him. "I hoped we'd be at least a little closer after what happened yesterday." The senior's pained frown twisted into a leer and Baekhyun felt his stomach clenching in bad foreboding.

 

"What...happened yesterday?" He choked out, throat dry and tongue weighing a ton as he leaned heavily on his locker and stared up at Chanyeol with wide eyes.

 

The senior grimaced, one of his hands rubbing his chin where Baekhyun's head had left a quickly forming bruise. The question snapped him out of it quickly and his hand dropped to reach out for Baekhyun again. Instead of grabbing though, Chanyeol leaned in, both his arms coming up to rest on the lockers on both sides of Baekhyun's head to cage him in.

 

Baekhyun's eyes widened and he made a croaky sound at the back of his throat when the senior bent down and pressed his lower body flush against his own. A hard thigh parted his own quivering ones and then Chanyeol _pressed_ and slowly, carefully _rubbed_ between Baekhyun's legs.

 

Baekhyun flinched, his head banging loudly against his locker as he crumpled in shock. The slumping of his weak body had Chanyeol's thigh digging even deeper between his legs until Baekhyun felt his cock getting squeezed almost painfully by the senior's hard muscles. He gasped and finally remembered the rest of his body as he reached out to clutch the senior's shirt in his hands to push against his chest.

 

Chanyeol let out a breathy laugh at Baekhyun's weak attempts to push him away and leaned in closer until his lips brushed the shell of one ear.

 

"C’mon, don't be so shy," He murmured as his hands wrapped around Baekhyun's wrists to press them immobile against the locker. "You were so hot yesterday."

 

Baekhyun stared up at the senior and felt his breath hitching at the ominous glint he found in Chanyeol's eyes. The bad foreboding was back and this time Baekhyun knew what it wanted him to tell. But he couldn't believe it, because it just couldn't be.

 

There was no way Chanyeol was talking about _him_ , though, and if the senior wasn't talking about Baekhyun then he was talking about–

 

In Baekhyun's lost moment of inadvertence, Chanyeol leaned down to lick into his mouth and Baekhyun flinched so hard that the senior's hands had to steady him to keep him from falling down. His legs gave way and Chanyeol pressed him harder against the lockers and grabbed his thin wrists in his hands. Baekhyun felt bitter disappointment tightening his throat when Chanyeol pushed his tongue between his trembling lips while his thigh was back to rubbing insistently against his crotch. The friction weakened Baekhyun's struggling hands in the senior's hard clasp, but the jolts of shock and shame helped clear up his head at least.

 

Baekhyun gasped and turned his head to the side, eyes swimming with hot tears when Chanyeol leaned back with a confused grunt and let go of him. It was the senior's next words which confirmed the bad feeling and put the final nail in his coffin of heartbreak.

 

"Babe, what's wrong? It's me."

 

A hand closed around Baekhyun's chin and forced him to turn his face around and up to look into the senior's piercing eyes. At Baekhyun's silence, Chanyeol's mouth twisted into a crooked smile that had Baekhyun's heart throbbing painfully in his chest.

 

"Don't you remember the person that fucked you?" The fingers on Baekhyun's chin tightened for a second before Chanyeol's broad thumb brushed against his skin. "Cruel," He muttered with another press against Baekhyun's lips.

 

Baekhyun felt his heart breaking with such clarity that he was surprised he didn't choke up shards of it when he finally pushed the senior off with all his might. Chanyeol fell back ungracefully and Baekhyun felt almost bad when he watched the senior losing his balance and falling to the floor.

 

" _I don't remember!_ " He cried out instead, a bit ashamed at how insane he sounded. Sure enough Park Chanyeol stared up at him as if he'd lost it.

 

Baekhyun swallowed down another wave of heartbreak and forced down the tears that gathered insistently at the corners of his eyes.

 

"That– Yesterday! It wasn't me who–" _fucked with you_ , Baekhyun thought as he choked on the unspoken words, a sense of betrayal having him lose his balance as well. He fell back against his locker weakly, but his eyes never left Chanyeol's who stared at him with growing confusion.

 

"Not you? What the hell are you–"

 

Baekhyun made a sound of fear at the back of his throat when the senior got up on his feet to plant himself in front of Baekhyun's cowering body. Tall and threatening, Chanyeol towered in front of him and Baekhyun saw how annoyance was replacing the initial confusion in his eyes. Something about it felt so frighteningly familiar that Baekhyun felt his stomach lurching. 

 

Chanyeol was so close that Baekhyun felt the soundless puffs of his breath hitting his cheeks. The way they touched his skin so warm and moist made him realize how cold he was all of a sudden, how numb his body felt and how all the heat in his chest his cheeks and in his ears had faded to an icy cold. He was scared to death.

 

He muffled another pathetic sound and quickly turned his body away from Chanyeol, his eyes frantically searching for an opening to escape. _He had to run, he had to run, he had to run–_

 

Help came in the heaven-sent form of Jongdae who, eyes and mouth wide open, stared at them with a look of such utter surprise on his face that Baekhyun would have laughed had he not been desperate to keep himself from sobbing in distress.

 

But something on Baekhyun's face must have been enough to shake him out of his astonishment, because as soon as he snapped his mouth shut and swallowed down his shock Jongdae was fast to come to his rescue.

 

"Baekhyun!"

 

Jongdae's voice was sweet salvation, startling Chanyeol who quickly leaned away and let go of Baekhyun to look at the intruder. Baekhyun literally jumped at the chance and didn't waste a second to push Chanyeol away from himself before running to his friend. He heard the senior losing his balance and falling against the lockers and quickly hid away from Chanyeol's angry outcry against the safety of Jongdae's chest.

 

Perplexed, Jongdae wrapped his arms around him, his hands fluttering where they rested comfortingly on Baekhyun's shoulder and hipbone. Baekhyun knew that his friend was beyond confused about what was going on, but he also knew that Jongdae wouldn't ask questions as long as Baekhyun was clinging to him and trembling in his arms.

 

" _Baekhyun_ ," Chanyeol said quietly and Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut at the way he elongated the last vowel in his name. There was suppressed anger in his voice and Baekhyun wondered why it was so easy for him to hear it under all the layers of sweetness. "I wasn't done talking to you."

 

Baekhyun felt Jongdae's soothing hands freezing for a second before they continued to run in calming circles on his body. For a small moment Baekhyun forgot about Chanyeol and wondered what his friend might think of this absurd situation. Besides himself, Jongdae was probably the only person who was just as surprised about Chanyeol's sudden interest in him. The moment Jongdae would realize the reason for the senior's interest, though, would be the moment he'd tease Baekhyun until the day they graduated.

 

Or maybe not. Jongdae knew about the complicity of Baekhyun's circumstances, his insecurities and his fears– and this situation was a testament to them all, confirming Baekhyun's worst fears. _He was invisible._

 

All people ever saw in him, all that made others ever seek him out and ask for him wasn't _him_ but–

 

"Chanyeolsshi," Jongdae's voice was silky smooth and so casual as if he wasn't holding an armful of trembling Baekhyun in his embrace. "Is there something you wanted from my friend?"

 

He turned his body a little, shielding Baekhyun from Chanyeol's eyes and it was this small gesture of solidarity that sobered Chanyeol up and made him realize the delicacy of the moment.

 

Baekhyun was _hiding_ from him. So urgently that his friend was protecting him from him and Chanyeol was annoyed. A respective question was on the tip of his tongue immediately, but a quick glance into Baekhyun's friend's eyes made him realize that there was no way he'd be allowed close to the trembling boy anytime soon. Chanyeol frowned and with a glance at Baekhyun's hiding form leaned back from them. With the way that unyielding friend's eyes were burning with adamant protectiveness a tactical retreat was what seemed most sensible now.

 

Chanyeol opened his mouth, but at a loss for words he just inhaled loudly before he exhaled a long angry sigh with a shake of his head. With a last glance at Jongdae and the boy hiding in his arms Chanyeol turned with a soft twitch to his lips and a discontent shrug.

 

Jongdae only loosened his tight grip on Baekhyun when the senior disappeared down the hallway and behind a corner. He relaxed his tense body with a soundless sigh, his hands gripping Baekhyun's shoulders to nudge him away from where he was hiding against his chest.

 

"He left, it's okay now," He muttered and wasn't surprised when Baekhyun turned to check on his words before sagging in relief. The hands clutching Jongdae's shirt didn't loosen their tight grip and Jongdae discretely pinched Baekhyun's knuckles to have him let go.

 

His mouth turned a bit sour at the crinkles on his fine linen shirt, but there were more pressing matters he needed to address than Baekhyun's lack of respect for extremely overpriced designer clothes.

 

"How the hell does Park Chanyeol know that you exist?"

 

Baekhyun cringed at the bluntness of Jongdae's words, but they were justified. Not 24 hours ago he'd been invisible and his existence unknown to the senior.

 

Baekhyun half expected his friend to tease him about having walked into a scene between Baekhyun and his unreachable crush, but when he glanced at Jongdae there was nothing but confusion on his friend's face.

 

"It's not _me_ he came looking for," Baekhyun muttered and the way Jongdae's mouth twisted in pity was proof that his friend had understood the meaning behind his words.

 

"Your... _hyung_?"

 

Baekhyun squeezed his eyes shut when his heart sank in his chest. Jongdae's confusion was twisting the pain in his guts and deepening the feeling of despair that tightened his throat.

 

_Why would Chanyeol seek him out? Baekhyun was invisible._

 

Because of Hyung, Baekhyun thought. Because his twin had met and fucked Baekhyun's crush Park Chanyeol for reasons that numbed Baekhyun's whole body in sickening resignation.

 

Hyung had taken what Baekhyun loved most. Baekhyun just didn't know why.

 

-

 

Hyung was at home leaning against the flower covered kitchen counter and sipping a can of iced espresso when Baekhyun stumbled in.

 

Even from the doorway of their small apartment Baekhyun could see that he was deep in thought. His brother had his thoughtful face on, his bleached white hair pulled up into a messy tail on the top of his head. It would have looked like a cute little sprout on anyone else, but Baekhyun's brother was the last person on the planet whom any other human being would ever attribute traits of cuteness.

 

He was in all black in his washed-out hoodie and ripped skinny jeans, looking as suave and effortlessly cool in them as always. The sleeves of his hoody were pulled up to his elbows and for a moment Baekhyun let his eyes rest on the careful designs inked on the pale skin of his brother's arms. They told a story of all the things Hyung loved and admired– a sentiment Baekhyun shared, though he never expressed it as openly as Hyung did.

 

Despite wearing clothes that were all nondescript there was an impalpable elegance about him. It was something Baekhyun lacked so utterly that it evoked specific and reluctant feelings of admiration in him, those of the kind everyone in this world who felt just as uncomfortable in their skin as he shared.

 

While other's like Jongdae bought the same designs for outrageous amounts of money, Hyung wore his no-name clothes in all their seemingly fashionable touch of worn-outness with a sovereign nonchalance that emphasized just how little fucks he gave about those things.

 

He looked untouchable and for a moment Baekhyun faltered in his urge to confront his twin with what had happened to him at university.

 

Instead of walking straight to him and demanding answers, Baekhyun took a detour to the fridge and took out a small pack of soy milk. It was pink and his favorite flavor and even the fact that he had found it on Hyung's shelf didn't hide that it had been bought solely for Baekhyun. The amount of delight he felt when he pushed the thick straw into the pack and the small sigh at the sweetness bursting on his tongue didn't make him feel the least bit sorry that he had ditched the packs of cooled coffee latte he'd stacked in his own shelf.

 

Eyes squeezed shut, Baekhyun allowed himself to relax for a moment and to collect his thoughts. Next to him Hyung was still staring at what Baekhyun now noticed as his phone.

 

Hyung's face was still unreadable and closed off. He had hardly reacted when Baekhyun had come in, but that was just the way his twin was usually around him, always waiting for Baekhyun to come to him on his own terms. Hyung's other hand gripped tightly around his can of coffee and Baekhyun only threw a quick glance at it before twisting his mouth in faint disgust.

 

Unlike Baekhyun, Hyung drank it black without sugar and as close as Baekhyun watched, his brother's face stayed relaxed. There wasn't even a twitch to his lips, and morosely Baekhyun thought at his own incapability to get down even heavily creamed and sugared coffee.

 

Hyung only looked away from his phone when Baekhyun leaned next to him and pulled the coffee out of his brother's hands.

 

Eyes identical to his own looked at him questioningly and when Baekhyun twisted his lips into a frown his brother mirrored.

 

"Can I help you, Baekhyun?" Hyung's voice was awfully polite and Baekhyun immediately knew that something was wrong. Baekhyun was instantly alarmed and wordlessly enjoined himself to caution.

 

The thing with his brother was that he was a bit of a loose cannon, always easy to unwind and quick to lose himself in rage. He had a sharp tongue and quick fists, and even though Baekhyun had never felt the latter directed at himself he had seen the damage and pain they could inflict on others. He wasn't afraid of Hyung; there was an unshakable intuitive truth running deep in his soul assuring him that his brother would never physically hurt him. This safe assurance, however, didn't include Baekhyun's biggest fear of his hyung hurting _others_ because of him.

 

His fear was justified as it had happened before. There was nothing that balled Hyung's hands to fists faster than some poor soul hurting Baekhyun and for a second the younger twin felt his chest constricting as he stared at his brother.

 

There was only one thing that had happened today with the potential to turn the gentle brother of this morning into this caution demanding version. Another quick glance at his brother and the protectiveness he saw in his eyes had Baekhyun's throat tightening in dread.

 

He clutched the can of coffee in his hand nervously and didn't notice that he was spilling soy milk with his other which instinctively tightened around the small pack as well. He only dropped both when the milk started trickling down his clenched fist, but even that was lost to him. His heart was beating loudly in his chest as he stared at Hyung, but in his thoughts he was back in the hallway of his university with Chanyeol leaning in too close and pressing their lips together.

 

 _Hyung knew_.

 

Baekhyun was suddenly one hundred percent sure that his brother knew exactly what had happened at university. 

 

Baekhyun felt his brother's eyes staring holes into his face and he quickly lowered his head to hide behind his bangs. Like this it was a bit easier to breathe, though he felt his brother's impatience building up like a physical force against his skin.

 

"Baekhyun," Hyung called and the younger twin felt his knees weakening at the prospect of having to justify himself and trying to protect Chanyeol.

 

He ignored his brother's call and looked everywhere but up into his eyes to avoid the wordless disapproval he felt directed at himself. Like this his gaze fell upon the still brightly shining screen of Hyung's phone and his eyes widened when he say a window of busily exchanged text messages. The contact on top was none other than Park Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun's throat was so dry that swallowing down the curse on his lips hurt enough to bring tears to his eyes. Or maybe that was the combination of shock and betrayal he once again felt spreading through his body like ice, numbing him from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.

 

They were still curling in agitation at the thought of his brother talking to Chanyeol, Baekhyun’s _crush_. Hyung had laughed affectedly at him since the start of the semester and had never missed an occasion to tell him quietly to stop with his shy feelings for the senior. The fact that he was talking to him, exchanging texts behind Baekhyun's back, was almost worse than the fact that he had slept with Chanyeol.

 

"Baekhyun?" his hyung repeated and there was a demanding undertone now, asking him to look up at his brother.

 

In a sudden fit of anger Baekhyun felt his cheeks heating up in both rage and embarrassment. One of his hands shot out to snatch the phone out of his brother's grasp and he was halfway through the texts before Hyung even realized what had happened. Baekhyun made an angry sound and slapped away his brother's attempt to reach for him. He curled away, the phone still clutched in his hands as he read through the many texts Chanyeol had sent his brother and the few Hyung had sent back.

 

They were flirting, Chanyeol provocative and suggestive while Hyung's texts were short and curt. As Baekhyun scrolled up he realized that they had been talking for a week and icy cold numbness threatened to spread through his body again. He almost dropped the phone, but when his brother grabbed his shoulder to turn him around, Baekhyun's whole body tensed and rebelled in outrage.

 

He grabbed the phone tighter and balled his hand to a fist before he swung it back with a cry to punch his brother in the face.

 

Hyung caught his hand midair and used the momentum to turn them both around until Baekhyun's back slammed roughly against the flat surface of the fridge across from where they had leaned against the kitchen counter a second before. A few petals from the dried flowers lying on top of the fridge fell down, but neither took any notice of them.

 

Baekhyun had only a split-second to cry out before all air was knocked out of his lungs as his brother slammed against his form. The phone fell from his hands and on the floor with a dull sound, but neither of them had eyes for it.

 

For a second the morning with Chanyeol flashed in front of his eyes. The senior, too, had cornered and caged him in with his body against a metallic surface, but where Chanyeol had looked at him good-naturedly, Hyung looked at him with all the menace of a predator that knew of its superiority.

 

He didn't look arrogant, though. Just confused and obviously upset that Baekhyun had lashed out at him. His face– identical to Baekhyun's yet so entirely different in its utter lack for anything soft and dreamy –twisted in worry.

 

Hyung's lips were the same droopy arc as Baekhyun's, a constant pout that could be lovely, but the older twin pulled it up into a frown as he stared into Baekhyun's eyes.

 

"Are you upset, baby? Why are you so angry at Hyung?"

 

He stated the obvious with such shameless confusion that it brought new tears to Baekhyun's eyes. But that only led to Hyung cooing at him and Baekhyun felt his insides burning in anger at the way his misery was probably bringing delight to his brother. At the thought of his brother being mightily amused because of him Baekhyun started kicking his feet in defiance. 

 

Hyung leaned his body forward and pressed Baekhyun even harder against the fridge, until the younger twin felt his feet lifting from the force. Trembling on the tip of his toes Baekhyun whimpered as he felt his brother pressing their chests together. Hyung's arms came up beside his head and his legs effortlessly forced Baekhyun's shaking thighs apart to rest in between. Like this Baekhyun was entirely restricted from moving and pressed flush against his brother.

 

The icy cold of shock and the angry heat of rage Baekhyun had felt twisted into a warm pulse of helplessness and embarrassment which had him trembling like a little bird in his brother's grasp.

 

The older twin smiled as he watched pink blossoming on the tips of Baekhyun's ears and started grinding his crotch lazily against the younger's in an attempt to have that lovely color wandering down to Baekhyun's cheeks.

 

He leaned in and let the tip of his nose brush along Baekhyun's jawline before he pressed his lips against the frenetic pulse underneath the delicate skin of the younger twin's neck. Hyung pressed tender kisses down the soft column until he reached Baekhyun's collarbones to mouth along them. His hands held Baekhyun's struggling wrists in an iron grip and the pressure of his abdomen against the younger twin's effectively hindered Baekhyun from shoving him off.

 

Like this it was a matter of a few seconds until Baekhyun gave up struggling and Hyung pressed his smile against the slight dip between his twin's collarbones when the younger sagged in his hold and stopped resisting.

 

"Hyung," Baekhyun cried out when the older twin pressed his wrists harder against the fridge in order to balance his forceful grinding.

 

Sparks of arousal were licking up the inside of his lower stomach and Baekhyun tried to squirm away until Hyung gave a low warning sound that had him flinch back. He let the older twin lick along his collarbones and didn't resist when Hyung finally let go of his wrists to slip his hands up and down Baekhyun's soft curves. Instead of shoving the older twin away, Baekhyun reached out to grip his brother's hoody. His knuckles turned white with the force of his fingers clutching onto the sturdy material, but his body was shaking so much that he feared losing his balance the second he let go of his hyung.

 

At this display of both helplessness and good behavior Hyung smiled at him and pressed kisses along his skin until Baekhyun squirmed again– this time because it tickled.

 

"Baby," Hyung murmured as he leaned up to glance into Baekhyun's pink face and pressed another kiss against the younger twin's mouth. His tongue was quick to slip in and Baekhyun only tensed up for a small second before he sighed into the kiss and allowed his brother to lick along his own tongue.

 

Somewhere at the back of his mind Baekhyun was vaguely aware that he was supposed to be angry at his brother, but the way Hyung's tongue licked along the seam of his mouth and the delicious burn of friction between his legs had him reduced to a helpless mess that was clinging desperately onto his twin and in his head a cozy warmth was dazing his hazy thoughts.

 

Hyung's hands felt so good on his skin and the quick change of his rough hands and the soft sweater Baekhyun was wearing was adding to the lazy swirl of arousal building up in his abdomen.

 

The sweater slid higher with every upstroke of Hyung's palms and Baekhyun muffled a moan when his brother hooked his thumbs around the hem and pulled it up until his chest was laying free for the older twin. He flinched when the heated skin on his back touched the cold of the fridge, but Hyung pressed him so hard against the smooth surface that all thoughts of cold and discomfort were instantly forgotten. Baekhyun blinked numbly and stared at his brother who wasted not a second before he leaned back against the younger to devour his lips.

 

Baekhyun felt a prickling rush of excitement when the sensitive skin of his chest pressed against the smooth cotton of his brother's hoody. When he looked down he saw both his nipples hardened and he gasped when his brother’s hands cupped the swell of his pecs to pinch the small nubs between his thumbs and forefingers.

 

"Baby," Hyung muttered again, this time between two kisses against Baekhyun's mouth. He licked a small drop of saliva from the corner of the younger twin's lips before he pressed his own back against Baekhyun's for another deep kiss.

 

His fingers were gently rubbing Baekhyun's nipples and he groaned softly into the younger twin's mouth when Baekhyun twitched in his hold.

 

"You're so good for me baby, so beautiful–"

 

Baekhyun muffled another moan, this one hidden in the crook of the older twin's neck when he doubled over and grabbed along Hyung's broad shoulders with shaking fingers. When the older twin's hands slipped down his curves to grab his behind, Baekhyun bit into the soft skin of his brother's neck to keep himself from crying out.

 

Hyung chuckled fondly and his hands pressed Baekhyun's ass firmly to push him forward against his own body. Like this Baekhyun felt his brother's hardness digging into his abdomen and it made him tighten his teeth around his brother's skin.

 

Words were cooed, but they were lost to him as the maddening pulse under his skin and the lighting flashes of fire in his veins intensified until he weakly groaned out against his brother's neck. He was close to suffocating, but he had no mind to care at all, content to feel his brother's hard length pressing and rubbing against his own and wishing that there weren't four layers of clothing between them.

 

It was Hyung who helped him breathe. With a quiet laugh he let go of Baekhyun's ass and cupped the younger twin's face in his palms instead to gently tip his head back and away from where it was pressed against the older's skin. Face red and stained with tears Baekhyun stared up at his twin with dazed eyes.

 

Hyung was disheveled as well, his bleached hair messy and his little tail tilted sadly on top of his head. His dark eyes were gleaming in an utterly unholy way, though, and where Baekhyun's were dazed and dim, Hyung's shone full of love. His mouth which was swollen and pink was hungrily mouthing along Baekhyun's skin and capturing his lips in deep kisses. Baekhyun felt his lips burning and trembling from all the kissing and he licked saliva from the corners of it, shudders running down his spines as Hyung's eyes followed his tongue hungrily.

 

" _Babe_ ," Hyung groaned as he reached for him again and Baekhyun abruptly flinched as Chanyeol calling him the same name flashed through his mind. He stared at his brother with wide eyes and watched Hyung's face frowning at him in confusion when Baekhyun's expression changed from aroused to frustrated.

 

It only took a few seconds for Baekhyun to remember all the reasons that had led him to this moment, and scandalized, he squirmed out of his brother's hold when he realized how easily Hyung had literally charmed off his pants.

 

"I'm angry," He finally answered his hyung, knowing full well that his older brother had only mocked him when he had asked him minutes ago. He still curled his body away, hoping that Hyung would stop touching him.

 

"You always laughed at me–" Baekhyun swallowed and risked a quick glance at his brother's face. It was back looking confused and Baekhyun felt his heart sinking in his chest, but quickly ignored it.

 

"Why would you do this– why would you _sleep_ with someone I like–"

 

Baekhyun flinched when Hyung's hands shot out and grabbed his shoulder to turn him back around. His eyes were wide open when he stared at his older brother, betrayal having them swim with tears again.

 

He was slammed back against the fridge, and Hyung leaned in close to stare at him.

 

"What the hell are you talking about?" It didn't sound like a question and Baekhyun thought angrily that Hyung didn't even try to make his cluelessness sound believable.

 

"Are you talking about Park Chanyeol? Were you staring at him again?" Hyung's voice sounded frustrated, but there was a hint of urgency when he added, "Baby, _I told you_ I don't want you to be around him. He isn't good for you. Promise me you'll stay away from him?"

 

Baekhyun cried out when Hyung tightened his grip on his bony shoulders and tried to squirm away again, but the older twin jumped at the sudden realization that he was hurting him and quickly let go. He caged Baekhyun in with his body instead and thrusted one of his thighs between the younger's legs again, forcefully pressing it up and down Baekhyun's crotch until he sobbed in arousal.

 

"No, Hyung– Chanyeol–" He was losing his head again and with it every thought that made him so angry at his older brother.

 

Hyung frowned at him and leaned closer, until Baekhyun was pinned so hard against the fridge that he felt the air being pressed out of his lungs. Baekhyun gasped and tried to struggle in his brother's hold, but this time Hyung didn't let go and when Baekhyun looked up into his eyes all he saw was pleading urgency directed at him.

 

"Baek, please! I want you to stop looking at him. He's...he isn't good for you, you need to listen to me, hmn?" Hyung tightened his grip and forced his thigh so insistently against Baekhyun's crotch that the younger twin screamed and saw black and flashes of yellow bursting in front of his eyes. Baekhyun almost fainted, but as fast as Hyung had pressed into him he also took the delicious pain away by cradling his collapsing body to kiss comfortingly along his neck.

 

Baekhyun had only enough strength left to cling to his brother as the older twin ran his hands carefully over his body.

 

"You little pain freak," Hyung crooned fondly at him when one of his hands cupped Baekhyun's fully hardened cock through his pants.

 

Baekhyun shuddered and tightened his hold around his brother's neck, breathing in Hyung's scent and jerking his hips helplessly when his brother started fondling his bulge.

 

Pain and pleasure were twisting his mind again until he was sobbing and moaning and rutting against his brother, all his anger forgotten again. Only when Hyung gripped harshly enough around his cock to have Baekhyun's mind clear for a split second from the pain jolting through his body did he think of his crush again.

 

"You _ah_ – slept with Chan- _ah_ yeol–" Baekhyun stammered, voice breaking with every harsh jerk of his brother's hand on his cock. He wished that Hyung would slip his hands under the waistband of his jeans and stroke him without clothes between them, but Hyung was staring at him, watching him fall apart as he pressed the hard edge of his palm along the length of Baekhyun's cock. Baekhyun doubted he had heard a single word of what he had stammered.

 

"Hyung–"

 

At Baekhyun's wrecked pleading voice Hyung smiled, one of his hands complying with the silent plea and slipping into Baekhyun's underwear to grip his cock while the other slid up to cup the younger's face.

 

"Yeah?" Hyung muttered and he leaned down to whisper it against Baekhyun's ear with a slow lick along the shell.

 

Baekhyun shuddered and closed his eyes when his brother started stroking him in earnest. With trembling fingers Baekhyun reached down to open the button of his jeans, eager to offer his hyung's hand more room for movement.

 

Hyung only laughed quietly, but he wordlessly complied and his hand stroked harder and faster around Baekhyun's cock. The younger twin was a writhing mess, his mouth slack and hands rubbing against the older twin's hoody with every thrust of his hand. Baekhyun's eyes were closed and his face half-hidden in his brother's neck. His hands gripped tightly onto the older twin's shoulders where Baekhyun's damp forehead rested as well. He looked so debauched and fucked with only a hand job that his hyung wanted to coo at him.

 

He thumbed the head of Baekhyun's leaking cock instead, smearing the wet precum around in lazy circles to listen to his younger brother's dry sobs as he pressed his nail into the sensitive slit.

 

Baekhyun was jerking and trembling in his brother's arms, soft pleas falling from his lips and if Hyung's hands hadn't been occupied, he'd have grabbed that sweet face and kissed it senseless.

 

"I know that you like him," Hyung muttered softly when he carefully turned them around so that he was leaning against the fridge. Baekhyun was a shuddering mess in his arms, rutting needily against his tight hand and leaning his whole weight on his hyung. He didn't hear a word of what his twin was saying to him, but when Hyung tightened his fist around his cock hard enough to have him choke he quickly glanced up and into his brother's calm eyes.

 

How all this was affecting Hyung so little was utterly beyond Baekhyun who felt wrecked and weak in his brother's arms. He gasped when Hyung's fist squeezed his cock hard enough to have his eyes rolling backwards. The pain had his knees turning to jelly and it left the tip of his length tingling alarmingly. 

 

"Baekhyun," His brother called and the younger twin stared up with dazed eyes, barely comprehending the words. "That fucker doesn't know of your existence and I'm glad. Let's keep it like that, hmn?"

 

Somewhere at the back of his mind Baekhyun wondered why Hyung seemed so angry– and if he really didn't know about what had happened today at university. The irony of the situation was that if it hadn't been for Hyung, Chanyeol would have never known him. Baekhyun was invisible after all, and there was no way anyone ever noticed him without his hyung.

 

Somewhere in his mind a quiet voice tried to tell him that there was a mistake in his train of thought, that his reasoning was flawed and that before he had been caught in his brother's net he'd had every reason to be angry.

 

"That little fucker," Hyung muttered and his hand on Baekhyun's cheek tightened. "It's a bit unfortunate, no?" He asked aloud and he pressed Baekhyun close when he let go of the younger's face to wrap his arm protectively around his twin's shuddering body. His hand twisted around Baekhyun's cock and with a hoarse cry the younger twin came in his brother's milking hand.

 

Baekhyun was still shuddering and sobbing through his orgasm when his hyung tipped his head back and pushed his matted hair out of his red face to look at him with soft eyes.

 

"That he's part of your life again, how unfortunate, baby."

 

-

 

"He's manipulating you!"

 

Jongdae's cry of outrage silenced the whole coffee shop and had every head turning to their window seats. Baekhyun reddened and squirmed in wordless agony. Inwardly he chided himself for telling his friend about Chanyeol and Hyung and all the things that had happened between the three of them.

 

Jongdae's curious face had first turned disbelieving, then sour as Baekhyun had explained to him how the Monday morning scene at their lockers had happened. And even though he had kept most of his confrontation with Hyung to himself he had told Jongdae about the things his brother had begged him to do after Baekhyun had found out about Hyung and Chanyeol's text exchanges. He had talked with Hyung afterward, asking him about them, but his twin had just shrugged and deleted the texts, telling Baekhyun not to worry and demanding from him to promise him again to stay away from Chanyeol. Baekhyun had, however without any intention of keeping his word. 

 

His twin knew how much he liked the senior and the fact that he didn't explain how and why he was exchanging texts with him had been reason enough for Baekhyun to turn away in anger as soon as Hyung had told him to get dressed. In the end, even though he had been too afraid to ask again, Baekhyun had been sure that his hyung was sleeping with his crush behind his back.

 

His friend's annoyed clamor snapped him back to the present and he sighed.

 

Jongdae was Baekhyun's only friend and he loved him, but the fact that he had always been the only person that Baekhyun had been able to turn to when things with Hyung got difficult had turned Jongdae distrustful towards his older brother. There was little Baekhyun could tell him about his twin now that would change that and so his friend's scandalized face didn't surprise Baekhyun much. It still embarrassed him.

 

He quickly turned down his head on the pretense of picking up his coffee from the low table, but his eyes stayed hidden behind his bangs until he heard Jongdae picking up his own drink.

 

After a long moment of silence Jongdae sighed and Baekhyun knew his friend had cooled down enough for them to stop pretending that their coffees were so fantastic that it left them speechless.

 

Baekhyun sat down his heavily chocolated and creamed one with enthusiasm and only felt his cheeks tinting discreetly when he met Jongdae's scrutinizing look. But it wasn't his all too visible distaste towards his coffee that had his friend staring at him broodingly. It was Baekhyun's whole passive self.

 

He took in Baekhyun's messy mouse brown hair and the eyes he liked to hide behind his too long fringe. He saw the nervous twitch of his naturally droopy mouth and the unhealthy paleness of his skin. He stared at Baekhyun's too big sweater which hung unflattering on his small frame and seemed to swallow him up. He let his eyes glance down along the nondescript jeans that looked too baggy on his friend's thin legs.

 

Jongdae knew that Baekhyun liked to hide in clothes that were at least three sizes too big for him, but he also knew that his friend had a nicely curved and shaped body underneath those layers of ugly. It confused him, because even though he had never met his friend's older brother he knew from Baekhyun's descriptions that his _identical_ twin was good-looking, an irony Baekhyun never quite seemed to see.

 

Jongdae always wondered what it was that held Baekhyun back from styling himself into a good-looking version similar to his brother, but staring at his shy friend and thinking of the things Baekhyun had told him earlier it kind of made sense to him now.

 

"Your hyung is holding you back, Baekhyun," He concluded aloud, his eyes widening when he realized how true his own words were.

 

Baekhyun only stared at him, his lip trembling nervously in distress. It only confirmed Jongdae's suspicions and for the first time he wondered how much of Baekhyun's insecurities, shyness and general nervous incapability was the doing of his hyung.

 

"What– _Hyung would never_ –" Baekhyun cried out, but Jongdae interrupted him with a scoff as he had seen his friend's words coming.

 

"He slept with your crush! With the full knowledge that he was betraying and hurting you! He knows that you like Chanyeol!"

 

Baekhyun looked at him miserably and Jongdae knew that he wasn't telling his friend anything that Baekhyun hadn't thought by himself already.

 

"He's trying to keep you away from Chanyeol. He even made you promise!" Jongdae stressed relentlessly, anger flaring in his chest at the way Baekhyun had been backstabbed so heartlessly by the one person he trusted with all his heart. His friend seemed to shrink in front of his eyes, but that also helped Jongdae to point out the next thing he realized.

 

"He's been doing this for a while now, huh."

 

At Baekhyun's pained frown he gestured at his friend's crouched body. With a wave of his hand he tried to capture everything that was wrong with Baekhyun's outer appearance. It ran deeper, though, and Jongdae saw it clearly now.

 

“Your hyung made you like this, so unsure and quiet and shy and _dependent_. You'd never confront your hyung with how much he hurt you, would you?"

 

Baekhyun's lack of a response was answer enough for Jongdae and since Baekhyun had no way to tell Jongdae that he actually did confront his hyung without spilling how that had ended with him cumming in his brother's hand he kept silent and only stared at Jongdae unhappily. Jongdae was wrong, but there was no way he could tell him that his hyung was just overprotective and liked to baby him.

 

"Baek, it has to stop!" Jongdae's voice got loud again and Baekhyun shot nervous glances at the neighboring tables. The thought of someone listening to their conversation was enough to have him going through hell inwardly and he thanked god for the main barista at the register who was sagacious enough to discreetly turn the music louder.

 

"You said you look exactly like your hyung and that he's good-looking. Baek, _you two look the same_! I don't get what's keeping you from dressing nice and doing your hair for once. He conditioned you well, eh!" 

 

Baekhyun would have been happy to let Jongdae's angry words wash over him like a steady stream of lukewarm water, but the stabs at his appearance hurt and he was close to tears when he threw the pillow that was next to him on the sofa at his friend's face.

 

"Would you stop it!" He cried, embarrassed and hurt. "Hyung never told me to dress or act a certain way; this is all me!" His cheeks were bright red and he had angry tears in his eyes, but Jongdae's taken aback expression was almost enough to comfort him.

 

"I can't be like Hyung– I can't bleach my hair or tattoo my skin or pierce my–"

 

"Well maybe you should!" Jongdae's voice interrupted, but there was neither malice nor fire in his words anymore. He looked apologetic as he threw the pillow back at Baekhyun. “Your hyung tries to take away what should be yours and Chanyeol was interested enough in him to seek him out and find you instead, yes?" Jongdae paused and tilted his head. "You two have the same genetic base frame, same face, eyes, lips, dick...Jesus _Christ_ , Baek, don't stare at me like that!"

 

Baekhyun snapped his mouth shut, which had dropped open in bafflement. His cheeks which were bright red just a moment before were white as chalk now. He stared at Jongdae as if he was seeing him for the first time in his life.

 

"What I mean is that you only have to change a little and snatch Chanyeol back– right out of your hyung's claws!"

 

Baekhyun's throat was so dry that he didn't get a word past his lips. But even if he did Baekhyun didn't know what to tell Jongdae. A frosty _'mind your own damn business'_ was hanging on the tip of his tongue, but Jongdae was right about one thing. He'd never say something this rude to anyone, not even his noisy friend.

 

Jongdae seemed to interpret his silence as anticipation, because he suddenly sat up straight and smiled at him.

 

"It's a piece of cake, Baekhyun! Don't look so scared! Chanyeol knows shit and the moment you show what you got he'll be all yours– he didn't even care about your looks yesterday so the moment you dress up he'll be putty in your hands!"

 

Jongdae grinned and Baekhyun knew that in his mind he was already dressing Baekhyun up with the excessive amount of fashionable clothes piling up in every room of his small apartment.

 

Baekhyun wasn't keen on playing dress up with Jongdae and he would never allow his friend to touch his hair, but he was content to listen to him rant, because it helped him to swallow down the bitter truth he wanted to throw at his friend.

 

"I bet it's not your hyung's charming personality that made Chanyeol seek him out. We've already won!" Jongdae laughed.

 

No, Baekhyun agreed, it was not his hyung's personality, but it was also not his looks. The reason Hyung had slept with Chanyeol and the consequence of the senior seeking him out again had nothing to do with looks or charms or competition.

 

Hyung hadn't slept with Chanyeol to take him away from Baekhyun. He had done it to keep Baekhyun away from the senior.

 

-

 

Wednesday afternoon Baekhyun sat leaning against a tree on the campus back lawn, mind absent as he slowly ate a cup of hot snacks with a toothpick.

 

The occasional burn of his tongue from both the still steaming hot sauce and the amount of red pepper it was spiced with were the only two things snapping him out of his thoughts every now and then.

 

That was, of course, until Park Chanyeol sat down next to him and snatched his styrofoam cup right out of his hands.

 

Baekhyun turned his head to snap at whom he expected to be Jongdae only to stare so wide-eyed at Chanyeol that he felt as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head.

 

Chanyeol threw a piece of hot rice cake into his mouth and chewed on it with great relish before he grinned down at Baekhyun who still stared at him in shock.

 

His face must have looked funny, because Chanyeol laughed with his mouth wide open and if Baekhyun hadn't been so utterly perplexed, the sight of half-eaten _ddeok_ and hot pepper sauce would have turned his stomach in distress.

 

With his thoughts numbed he only vaguely noted that the mush in Chanyeol's mouth looked a bit too gory and reminded him of naked bone and bloody messes and Baekhyun...couldn't with that.

 

The shock of having Chanyeol so close was enough to take his mind from anything triggering, though, and Baekhyun watched helplessly as the senior's initial amusement turned into confusion.

 

He was making a fool out of himself again and quickly Baekhyun swallowed before he dropped his gaze to his hands.

 

"Ch- Chanyeolsshi," He stuttered and cursed himself inwardly. Way to start a conversation, Baekhyun, he thought sourly, but was relieved to see the senior grin down at him when he checked with a quick glance.

 

"So formal again?" The senior laughed as he handed back the cup. As soon as his hands were free he leaned forward to take a few of Baekhyun's hair strands between his fingers. "Cute," he muttered and the way his voice dropped an octave lower had Baekhyun's cheeks tinting pink.

 

The color on his cheeks was a deeper version of the soft pastel rose he had dyed into his newly bleached hair. Baekhyun felt his lips widening in a smile when he heard the senior praise it. Apart from Jongdae who'd been beside himself with joy over Baekhyun's new hair, no one else had praised him for it yet. Chanyeol's words were soothing the insecurities that had him pulling on his strands before, and weakening the memory of Hyung frowning at him when he'd first seen him.

 

Hyung had said little to him when he had come back from Jongdae's with his scalp itching and his hair resembling the older twin's. He had looked knowingly, though, a deep thoughtfulness on his face as he had stared at Baekhyun's new hair. It had been one of the reasons Baekhyun had dyed a color into his white strands, because the thought of his hyung judging him as a cheap copy of himself had been unbearable.

 

"You're blushing again," Chanyeol remarked as he reached out to brush his knuckles against Baekhyun's soft cheeks. The way his hard bones dug into Baekhyun's soft skin rose goosebumps all over Baekhyun's body. The weird feeling was back, knotting his stomach in uneasiness, but Baekhyun forced it down with all his might when Chanyeol used the same movement to cup his face in his large palms. Baekhyun felt his skin burning even hotter when his head was carefully tilted back.

 

The senior looked down at him with searching eyes, his brows furrowed as if he was staring at something that remained a mystery no matter how closely he looked.

 

Baekhyun tilted his head in question and felt Chanyeol's hands tightening almost painfully on his face for a second before the senior let go with a quiet laugh.

 

"You're so different, Baekhyun. When we text and when we lie together I think I've got it all figured out. But then you're so quiet and sweet and I feel like I fail to see something essential."

 

No, Baekhyun thought with his heart slamming against his ribcage in joy. You're just seeing _me_. He was so overjoyed that he didn't see Chanyeol's lips twisting into a knowing smile. 

 

"Do you not like me like this?" He asked quietly before he could help it, and he quickly put the cup on the grass beside himself to clench his shaking hands together. He was so nervous that it was almost a miracle that his voice didn't break.

 

Chanyeol looked down at him with unfathomable eyes and when he reached out to pull him against his chest Baekhyun let him.

 

"You're so cute," The senior muttered, one hand holding Baekhyun close and the other cupping a blushing cheek back in his palm. He ran his fingers through Baekhyun's soft hair to pull on the strands and leaned down to press a kiss against the boy's forehead, pleased with the way Baekhyun was so pliant and sweet in his arms.

 

 _Baekhyun was so cute_. Maybe it was the hair color or the light clothes. The boy's sweater was cream colored and his jeans were a pale washed-out cotton blue. Everything about him was so light and delicate.

 

He sighed and felt Baekhyun tensing in his arms at that. The boy got ready to lean away from him, but Chanyeol quickly tightened his arms, unwilling to let go.

 

"I like you a lot like this," Chanyeol finally answered and in his head he was surprised how true that actually was. This sweet, quiet, shy and passive and pliant version was so much to his taste. 

 

He smirked and saw Baekhyun's droopy eyes staring up at him in confusion, probably wondering why he was chuckling. The sweet unawareness of what was running through his mind widened Chanyeol's smile and when he leaned down to capture the boy's lips in a kiss Baekhyun let him.

 

There was no struggle and no resistance this time as Baekhyun knew exactly what he was doing. He felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of Chanyeol's utter cluelessness, but comforted himself with the thought that the senior 'liked him a lot like this'.

 

Maybe, Baekhyun thought, maybe Chanyeol likes me more than Hyung. The senior had never known of Baekhyun's existence, but he did now– not that Chanyeol knew that he wasn't his hyung. Maybe Chanyeol would like him better, even if he wasn't the person he was looking for.

 

 _"I like you a lot like this"_ , Baekhyun thought to himself as he bedded his head on top of the senior's shoulder.

 

Maybe Hyung was the catalyst, the reason Chanyeol's unreachable path crossed his invisible one. But Hyung was wrong about one thing. Chanyeol knew him now, and the senior actually liked him better.

 

-

 

The first thing Baekhyun made sure of when Chanyeol took his hand and walked off campus with him was to change Hyung's number which the senior had saved in his phone.

 

When Chanyeol found him messing with it on his bed he looked mildly annoyed, but Baekhyun's quick smile and a shake of his hand with his own phone was enough to convince him that Baekhyun had changed devices.

 

The second thing Baekhyun made sure of was to block Hyung's number.

 

Then Chanyeol pushed him down and took the phone out of his hands to grip his wrists and hold them above his head.

 

There was a voice in Baekhyun's head screaming at him in warning that this was too fast and too early, but Baekhyun swallowed down his fear and reminded himself that Hyung had slept with Chanyeol before and that the senior thought they were the same person.

 

He willingly spread his legs for Chanyeol to sink in between and the way the senior smiled approvingly at him dispelled his fears completely.

 

There was a strange sort of excitement in Chanyeol's every move and touch, and Baekhyun thanked god that the senior was so taken in that he didn't even seem to miss the absence of ink on his skin.

 

It confirmed Baekhyun's vague suspicion that his hyung had slept with and left Chanyeol without the other being allowed to touch and see him much– maybe even naked. The thought left a hurting stab in Baekhyun's heart, because it reminded him again how much his hyung seemed to dislike Chanyeol and how he'd still tried to take him away from Baekhyun regardless.

 

"Babe," Chanyeol murmured and his warm hands let go of Baekhyun's wrists to cup his face. "I want you to look at me when I fuck you. You don't want me to stop, right."

 

It wasn't a question, but Baekhyun still shook his head hastily, his eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. Why was he even thinking of his twin when he was finally with Chanyeol?

 

"Good," Chanyeol laughed and he leaned down to mouth along Baekhyun's jawline. "Because I wouldn't have stopped anyways. You're so cute, Baek!"

 

Baekhyun shuddered under Chanyeol's hands that slipped under his warm woolen sweater to roam his chest. The senior was fast and a bit thoughtless, but Baekhyun found that he liked it when the pressure on his pecs became rougher and Chanyeol's fingers twisted his nipples harshly.

 

He muffled a moan against the back of his hand, his face turning red already as he gasped loudly. He only noticed that his hips were jerking and grinding his crotch against Chanyeol's when the senior laughed and forcefully stilled his hips with his hands.

 

"So eager," the senior grunted as he sat up and slipped his hands under the waistband of Baekhyun's jeans. Not a moment later he quietly admired Baekhyun's pale legs and smooth skin, his hands sliding up to grip around Baekhyun's thick thighs to part them and to lift them up.

 

Baekhyun felt his cheeks tinting deeper when Chanyeol's eyes stared intently at his clenching opening. He couldn't help it; the senior's intense gaze was making him tense and nervous.

 

He didn't expect Chanyeol to reach out and grip his cock, but when he did Baekhyun almost flinched and felt his heart leap in his chest. He cried out, hips jerking uncontrollably and his cock hardening instantly in Chanyeol's warm palm.

 

His helpless actions had widened the smile on the senior's lips. The broad pad of Chanyeol's thumb slid over Baekhyun's sensitive cockhead, pressing against the slit before sliding along the ridge. Baekhyun muffled his cries as he tried to thrust into the senior's grip, but Chanyeol kept him still with the press of his unoccupied hand on Baekhyun's hip.

 

The senior stared at Baekhyun's flushed and pink cock for a moment longer, but then hardened his grip around it and stroked up and down its length. Baekhyun choked, his eyes rolling back at the harshness of the senior's grip and his hips kept jerking spasmodically.

 

Chanyeol's hands were larger than Hyung's, his skin rougher, the tips of his fingers calloused where Hyung's were soft. But the senior was rougher with him than his brother was, and his nails dug into Baekhyun's sensitive skin and his leaking slit. The moment Chanyeol's thumb pinched the ridge of his cock had Baekhyun's stomach tightening and with a sob he spurted his cum into the senior's hand.

 

Chanyeol let go of him instantly and Baekhyun fell back with a gasp, his whole body shuddering and tingling from his orgasm, his cock still twitching even though it lay soft and spent on his stained stomach.

 

Chanyeol's quiet laugh snapped him out of his post-orgasmic haze and his eyes were round in surprise when the senior nudged his lips apart to slip his wet fingers into Baekhyun's mouth.

 

He licked them clean obediently and watched the senior's face twisting in lust and want. Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol was about to snap and a thrill of excitement ran down his shivering spine at the thought of the senior taking him roughly on his bed.

 

"God you're cute," Chanyeol groaned when Baekhyun sucked on his fingers and stared up at him. "I'm going to fuck you."

 

Baekhyun moaned and lifted his weak legs to close them around Chanyeol's waist and pull him closer. The senior chuckled and pinched one of his thighs hard enough to leave a bruise. With a yelp Baekhyun let his legs fall down and pouted up at Chanyeol who only shook his head.

 

The senior pulled his shirt over his head and fumbled with the belt on his jeans, quickly pulling them down with his underwear before kicking his clothes off his bed. As Baekhyun watched him undress he too grabbed the hem of his sweater to pull it up and over his head, but Chanyeol grabbed his wrists when the cloth was over his head, hindering him from pulling it from his face.

 

Baekhyun heard him mutter a soft, "Perfect" before the senior gripped around one of his thighs and pulled it up to hoist it over his hipbone.

 

Baekhyun wiggled in the strong grip around his wrists, uncomfortable and frustrated that he couldn't see a thing with his sweater in the way, but when he told Chanyeol the senior just laughed and flicked the tip of his soft cock.

 

"It's okay. I want to fuck you like this. Stop whining."

 

Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest but the words died in his throat when slick fingers entered his hole in quick succession. Viscous lube was inserted into his stretched hole and Baekhyun felt the cold liquid seeping down his channel where two of Chanyeol's long and wiry fingers were stretching it open harshly.

 

He squirmed and tried to curl into himself, but Chanyeol tutted at him and thrusted his fingers forward in warning, jolting Baekhyun up and effectively ceasing his complaints. Baekhyun moaned and his legs fell open as he lifted his hips to rock them back against Chanyeol's fingers.

 

The senior hissed, but let him ride his digits for good minutes until he pulled them out abruptly and slid his cock in. Baekhyun's little groans of indignation turned into wails as the senior started thrusting into him quick and hard, his cock slamming into all the right places and making him delirious with pleasure.

 

Breathing became harder under the heavy cover of the sweater and Baekhyun gasped for air with every hard thrust of the senior's cock against his insides. His hands itched to rip the cloth away and to breathe in the heavy scent of Chanyeol's small bedroom, but the senior's grip around his wrists only became tighter when Baekhyun tried to free himself.

 

"Don't– _leave it!_ I'm about to–"

 

Baekhyun groaned when the senior's hands dug so deep into his skin that they felt like they were crushing his bones underneath. In his mind he saw his skin bruising black in the form of Chanyeol's fingers and the thought both excited and somehow frightened him to death.

 

Hyung will see, it suddenly flashed through his mind and the thought had him tensing up all over, his asshole tightening around Chanyeol's wide girth in panic and making the senior groan low in his throat.

 

Baekhyun felt the senior pushing his cock balls deep in until the curve of Baekhyun's ass laid flush against Chanyeol's clenching pelvis. The senior pressed impossibly closer, pushing his cock as far as he could until Baekhyun felt his stomach cramping and his eyes rolling back into his head. He gasped out, incoherent words slurring off his lips, but before he could cry out in pain Chanyeol's cock swelled and he came in his ass.

 

Baekhyun shuddered at the feeling of warm cum filling him up and then sliding down his swollen walls, coating Chanyeol's softening cock with his own cum before dripping out of his hole.

 

The senior was breathing heavily, his hands still gripping Baekhyun as his hips rode out his orgasm, but he was quick to calm down and his hands let go of Baekhyun's numbed wrists and bruised hipbones once he came down from his high.

 

His hands were only shaking slightly when he pulled down Baekhyun’s sweater. Under the cloth Baekhyun's face was red and sweaty, drool and tears staining his skin, and his mouth was wide open and wet as he gasped for air. He looked so debauched and wrecked that Chanyeol felt his lips widening in a smirk again.

 

He carefully lowered himself between Baekhyun's spread legs and captured the boy's lips in a quick wet kiss. The fact that Baekhyun was out of breath and gasping into his mouth didn't bother Chanyeol, neither did the way the boy's cock was still curving hard and leaking against Baekhyun's soft stomach.

 

Chanyeol felt sated now, sleepy and satisfied and all he wanted to do was press this pretty boy's soft body close and doze off with him in his arms.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun whined when the senior got ready to fall asleep on top of him, but Chanyeol ignored him. Baekhyun frowned and squirmed, a bit disbelieving that the senior would leave him this uncomfortable. But the more he wiggled the tighter Chanyeol's arms became around his body until Baekhyun clenched his teeth to suppress a groan. He'd bruise all over and he knew it. With a sigh he went slack in the senior's hold and tried to get comfortable.

 

He looked down at Chanyeol's content face on top of his chest and pouted, but his hands came up to run careful fingers through the senior’s disheveled hair. He looked so handsome like this, his dark hair pushed out of his face and his fine eyebrows turned downwards in a graceful line.

 

Baekhyun sighed and tried to get more comfortable under the senior's weight, his spread legs kicking a little to squirm his abdomen away from where Chanyeol's body was pressing painfully against his wet crotch.

 

Like this it took Baekhyun a while to fall asleep, but when he did it was with an odd feeling of foreboding, as if everything was now the way it was supposed to be. Only that he felt like it wasn't really a good thing.

 

-

 

They started to date after this.

 

To Baekhyun, who had been invisible to his crush a mere week ago, this felt like a dream. He couldn't believe that the person holding his hand and keeping him close to kiss and touch was really Chanyeol.

 

At university and in Chanyeol's apartment Baekhyun was enamored with the senior and the thought of being his boyfriend. But at his own home he kept his feelings to himself and tried to avoid Hyung's increasingly scrutinizing gaze.

 

Baekhyun was convinced that his brother was suspecting something, but as long as he kept Chanyeol and his relationship with him a secret Hyung wouldn't have a reason to confront him. He knew that the moment Hyung realized what was going on all hell would break loose.

 

At home he played the sad younger brother who was unhappy about his older twin snatching away his crush. He led his brother on to believe that he was letting go of Chanyeol and that Hyung had won the game– not that he ever confronted Hyung about the way he had betrayed him by sleeping with his crush.

 

He guessed that Hyung was keeping his distance from Chanyeol now for as long as Baekhyun didn't give him reason to pursue the senior again. But Baekhyun was living in constant fear of his brother trying to contact Chanyeol only to realize that something was wrong when the senior wouldn't react to his blocked texts. Oddly enough, Hyung seemed pleased and cheerful despite the cease of messages from Chanyeol. But Baekhyun still tried his best to keep his brother content and unaware every day. 

 

Without a word of complaint he let Hyung pull him into his arms and tilted his head to give way to his neck for his brother's soft lips. He sat obediently in Hyung's lap and rocked their hips together while his brother caressed his skin, he wordlessly opened his mouth to let his twin's tongue slip inside and he knelt between his brother's legs to suck him off whenever Hyung asked him to. It was as always– as if there was no one in their lives but the two of them.

 

The thought that he was cheating never once crossed Baekhyun's mind as this was _Hyung_ , his twin, a constant of his life that had always been like this. Even if the thought had suddenly flashed through his mind Baekhyun wouldn't have been sure if he was cheating on Chanyeol or Hyung.

 

But even though Baekhyun was on his best behavior Hyung never stopped looking at him skeptically. Baekhyun yearned for the day his brother would stop searching his face for lies whenever he came home late and told him that he had been at Jongdae's. 

 

But as the weeks passed and with them his brother's distrustfulness, Baekhyun breathed a sigh of relief and allowed himself to fully indulge in his happiness.

 

Dating Chanyeol was so amazing to him. All of a sudden he was _visible_ , not only to his boyfriend but also to the rest of the campus. People glanced up to look at him and Chanyeol's friends never grew tired of telling him how cute and pretty he was, how good he looked wrapped in Chanyeol's arms.

 

Chanyeol himself was a laid-back boyfriend, albeit possessive. But he cared for Baekhyun and was always trying to be with him. It made up for the times they were intimate and Baekhyun was left unsatisfied and alone. Chanyeol was always eager to undress him and chase his climax, but he rarely made sure to bring Baekhyun to oblivion as well. 

 

Apart from the sex that was uncomfortable at best and painful at worst, Baekhyun was content. He had Hyung for his bodily needs who knew exactly how to touch him, and even Chanyeol's lack of care during their intimate moments was bearable as pain was thankfully something that helped Baekhyun to get off.

 

But there was something in Chanyeol's eyes sometimes, an odd sort of emptiness when he pumped Baekhyun full of his cum, and then fell on top of him. His arms were caging him in too tight and his lips sucked bruises too deep into his skin, all of which left Baekhyun squirming uncomfortably.

 

Since Hyung was pulling him into embraces and kisses, too, Baekhyun was always anxious to hide the bruises Chanyeol's hands and lips left on his body. To his luck Hyung rarely took the time to undress him and only pulled his pants down enough to have room to thrust into Baekhyun's ass after Baekhyun told him that he preferred sex this way. It made hiding things from him easier and Baekhyun breathed out a soundless prayer between his gasps and moans whenever Hyung ground his dick inside his quivering hole and gripped his cock in his soft hands.

 

 

A month later, Chanyeol's clear eyes and occasional smiles changed into leers and urging demands to have sex too often for Baekhyun's liking. The senior liked to push into him not only at his home, but lately also on campus in one of the many restroom stalls, or in empty classrooms. 

 

Baekhyun let him, but whenever they slipped out of the cramped places where Chanyeol fucked him his cheeks were bright red and he hardly dared to look up at other students' faces, convinced that his screams and moans must have been audible for at least half the campus population.

 

They were sitting in the same lectures, too, now, because as a senior Chanyeol had more free time and liked to spend it next to Baekhyun in the auditoriums. His innocent explanations of wanting to spend more time with Baekhyun were sweet at first, until Baekhyun realized that Chanyeol was fondling him during the lectures. The senior's large hands were quick to unbutton Baekhyun's jeans and they easily slipped under the hem of his briefs to cup and stroke his cock until Baekhyun had to hide his whimpers behind his hands and his head against his table as he doubled over.

 

Next to him Baekhyun could feel Jongdae's disgust radiating in waves, but whenever Chanyeol played his little games with Baekhyun's body the boy couldn't help but forget about his friend and the lecture and everything else besides Chanyeol and his rubbing, twisting, stroking hands.

 

 

"It's getting out of hand!" Jongdae snapped at him one afternoon at their favorite coffee shop.

 

By now Baekhyun was so used to humiliating scenes that the many heads turning to look at them in curiosity hardly fazed him anymore. His cheeks didn't even tint when he wordlessly picked up his hot chocolate to sip on it while waiting for Jongdae to calm down.

 

"He's fucking you nonstop– don't give me that look! He _does_!" Jongdae scoffed heartily. "If he doesn't touch you or stuffs his dick in you he's eye-fucking you the second he sees you. It's fucking gross!"

 

Baekhyun sighed into his chocolaty foam and reluctantly admitted to himself that his friend was right– not that Jongdae needed to know.

 

"Baek," Jongdae's voice was imploring when he grabbed Baekhyun's hands and demanded him to look up at him. "He needs to calm the fuck down. This isn't good for you!"

 

Baekhyun frowned and shook off his friend's hands. "What– you sound like my hyung. It's just sex!" He muttered, but there was a heavy feeling twisting his guts, because he knew exactly what his friend was trying to tell him.

 

"Exactly!" Jongdae exclaimed and he threw his hands up to empathize his frustration. "It's _just sex_ , _all the time_!"

 

Baekhyun grimaced and, at a loss for words, picked up his drink again.

 

"When was the last time he didn't look at you like you're a sexy piece of meat?"

 

Baekhyun snorted into his cup, but a silent voice in his head was asking him the same question, less frustrated, more anxious.

 

Lately Chanyeol's whole demeanor was defined by sexual innuendoes and his constant need to have his hands on Baekhyun's body. It was starting to upset him, because Chanyeol's long arms were quick to reach out and pull him back against his chest whenever Baekhyun didn't want to be close to him. Whenever he'd tell Chanyeol that he wasn't in the mood for sex, though, the senior would frown at him and his eyes would look all kinds of angry and cold until Baekhyun would quickly take back his words and allow him to have his way with his body. It was burdening.

 

He sighed and gripped his cup a bit tighter, realizing belatedly that Jongdae had shut up and was staring at the main entrance of the shop. Confused, because his friend's face was anything but happy, Baekhyun followed his gaze only to almost drop his cup when he saw Chanyeol standing in the entrance, clearly searching for him.

 

A smile spread on his lips as he saw how tousled the senior looked and how much he resembled a lost and kicked puppy. Baekhyun quickly rose from his seat and waved his arms, his voice light and happy as he called for his boyfriend.

 

He was beside them in the blink of an eye, and frowning Jongdae watched how the senior pulled Baekhyun none too gently against his chest as soon as the boy was within reach. Baekhyun chuckled and smiled up at his boyfriend, though, and Jongdae saw Chanyeol's stormy eyes lighting up and his lips widening in a smile, too.

 

_Sigh._

 

"Right. I'll leave you two. You can have my seat, Chanyeol."

 

The senior looked up with such a surprised look that Jongdae's mood instantly turned sour. It was as if he had just realized now that Jongdae was there too. He smiled obligatorily at him, but shook his head. His arms around Baekhyun tightened and for a moment Jongdae thought he would lift the boy up and throw him over his shoulder.

 

"Oh no, it's okay! I'm here to take him with me actually!" He looked down at Baekhyun as he said that, his smile widening when he saw Baekhyun gripping his shirt and coyly snuggling closer.

 

Jongdae barely suppressed rolling his eyes. He grabbed his coffee instead, trying hard to blend out Chanyeol's quiet words of, "Let's go, babe," and "I missed you!" because Baekhyun's answering "I missed you, too" was grating on his nerves enough to have him almost spill his drink. His friend was a bit naive and a bit dumb, but the way he let himself get manhandled like that was what annoyed Jongdae most. 

 

He set his cup down with a bit too much force and grimaced at the couple that was still clinging to each other in the middle of the coffee shop.

 

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath and wished them far away as he felt his head throbbing with a headache. He quickly reached for Baekhyun's things when his friend finally detached himself from the senior and forced himself to ignore Chanyeol's eyes staring at Baekhyun's ass none too subtly when the boy bent forward.

 

"Have fun with your boyfriend," he muttered halfheartedly and tried not to frown when Baekhyun was roughly pulled back against the senior's chest as soon as he had grabbed his things.

 

The couple was halfway out of the shop when Jongdae noticed his friend's forgotten and almost full paper cup on the table. For a moment he stared confusedly at Baekhyun's choice of drink before he quickly grabbed it and ran after his friend. He almost didn't want to ask when he handed it to Baekhyun and watched him offering it to Chanyeol cutely.

 

"Since when did you go back to ordering chocolate?"

 

"Oh," Baekhyun blushed, the fact somehow embarrassing him enough to tint his cheeks pink. He was quick to smile, though. Jongdae closed his eyes and braced himself for what he knew would come now.

 

"Chanyeol said he likes it that I can't drink coffee. He said it's cute."

 

-

 

Jongdae's words were a constant at the back of Baekhyun's mind.

 

Chanyeol could be as attentive and nice as he wanted on the way to his apartment, but Baekhyun was lost in thoughts.

 

But he smiled and leaned close against the senior as they walked, Chanyeol's arm hugged to his chest and happiness radiating from him as he listened to Chanyeol's deep voice telling him how much he had missed him and that he should always tell him where he was, because he had searched for him everywhere–

 

But as happy as his words made Baekhyun, Jongdae's voice wouldn't stop telling him how the senior only wanted him for sex.

 

When they reached Chanyeol's apartment Baekhyun felt torn between bliss and anxiety. It wasn't as if he didn't like the sex with his boyfriend, though admittedly it was a bit unfulfilling. But thanks to Jongdae Baekhyun realized that besides fucking they rarely did anything else.

 

Chanyeol groped and undressed him hurriedly whenever they were alone, never paying heed to Baekhyun's shy suggestions of doing something else, and he didn't remember a single instance they had sat beside each other without the senior's hands gripping him above or underneath his clothes.

 

Baekhyun frowned and missed Chanyeol calling out his name from further down the apartment. It was only when his boyfriend’s arms pulled him against his taller form that Baekhyun snapped out of it.

 

"Babe, why aren't you listening to me!"

 

Baekhyun stared up at Chanyeol in confusion and realized that his boyfriend was halfway undressed already while he was still standing in his shoes and jacket at the doorway. Not for long, though, if Chanyeol's hands slipping under his sweater were indication enough.

 

Baekhyun gasped out when rough fingers pinched his nipples reprovingly while others sneaked behind him and slipped under his briefs to stroke between his ass cheeks. The rough pads of Chanyeol's fingers felt wonderful on his soft skin and Baekhyun felt himself relaxing in his boyfriend's hold and pushing back his hips to have Chanyeol's fingers dipping deeper down his cleft.

 

 _'Just sex, all the time'_ flashed through Baekhyun's mind and he licked drool from his slack lips when he remembered Jongdae's words.

 

He was right. But it felt so good. Chanyeol's rough hands were so good on his body and twisted and hurt in all the right ways. It was only when the senior pulled Baekhyun's clothes down that the younger twisted away from his boyfriend's grasp.

 

Detaching himself from Chanyeol was almost physical pain, but remembering Jongdae's words once again he forced himself out of his boyfriend's embrace. He panted heavily, his face red and sweaty already as he brushed back his pink hair from his damp forehead. Chanyeol looked at him in confusion, but when he reached out for him Baekhyun leaned back and away.

 

"I'm not in the mood," he whispered and immediately got annoyed at himself for the lack of strength in his voice.

 

Chanyeol looked taken aback for a second before a frown spread on his lips and his hands reached out for Baekhyun again. He pulled him back to his chest roughly, growling at him when Baekhyun whined.

 

Baekhyun hated himself for arching up against him, his head pressing comfortably against Chanyeol as he listened to the deep vibrations rumbling in his boyfriend's chest. He felt so good in Chanyeol's arms and already felt like taking back his words. He loved lying under Chanyeol, loved to feel the senior's weight settling on top of him and loved feeling his sweat slide down their bodies, Chanyeol's tang on his tongue.

 

But Jongdae's words were back to torment him, and flushing a little in embarrassment at his weak will Baekhyun squirmed in his lover's hold.

 

"Babe, don't lie to me! You're wet like a little girl!" Chanyeol hissed when he tried to wiggle out of his arms and his large hand slipped into Baekhyun’s front effortlessly to grip his cock.

 

He was right, Baekhyun was already leaking and hard, but frustration was slowly tightening in his chest and Baekhyun pulled the senior's hand out of his underwear with a frown. He choked and almost lost his balance when Chanyeol's grip only tightened and pulled his cock along.

 

With a whimper Baekhyun pushed his arms against Chanyeol's chest and finally the senior let go of him. Baekhyun quickly pulled up his clothes and tucked in his sweater for good measure, but the senior didn't reach out for him again.

 

When Baekhyun quickly glanced at him he felt his heart freezing and his chest constricting painfully at the amount of anger he found on Chanyeol's face.

 

Chanyeol was pressing his lips together so hard that they were bloodless and his eyebrows were so furrowed that a deep line was forming between them. Baekhyun took half a step back before he felt helpless shame flushing his face. It was the first time Chanyeol looked at him like this– as if he was disgusting.

 

"It's just– I don't feel like having sex today!" He stammered out, his eyes squeezing shut to avoid looking at Chanyeol's cold face.

 

He heard his boyfriend scoff and flinched, but he gasped out in real fear when his shoulder was grabbed and he was roughly turned around to face the door. Why Chanyeol's touch suddenly had his heart jumping in fright was beyond him, but he had no time to dwell on it as his boyfriend pushed him towards the door.

 

"Then go," was spat at him and Baekhyun recoiled pitifully from the harshness in Chanyeol's voice. He had never seen Chanyeol this displeased, but it had his heart racing in fear and his throat clogging up unhappily. He already regretted denying him and cursed Jongdae to hell and back.

 

"Chanyeol- it's– it's not like I don't want to– it's just that today–" he stammered in a last attempt to soothe his lover, but Chanyeol just stared at him with expressionless eyes before he raised his hand and backhanded him so hard that Baekhyun felt his neck creaking from the force. The power of Chanyeol's blow was hard enough to have Baekhyun falling forward against his door face first.

 

Baekhyun cried out when his head hit the hard surface and turned to look at Chanyeol with wet eyes. His cheek was burning and his forehead throbbing and he wanted to apologize and to make things better somehow. But Chanyeol was looking at him with those indifferent eyes, his mouth that always grinned now twisted into a cold sneer.

 

"I don't fucking care." Chanyeol's voice was still harsh and icy cold, but there was a new undertone in it now, something akin to a threat that had Baekhyun recoiling in fear.

 

He was in tears when he tried to apologize for a last time, even taking a step towards his boyfriend in an attempt to make things better. For all Baekhyun cared, Chanyeol could take him and fuck him the whole night if it would make things better between them.

 

"Chan– I'm so–"

 

Chanyeol grunted, grabbed Baekhyun with one hand in his hair and opened his door with the other before he dragged the screaming boy with him and pushed him out of his apartment. Baekhyun was crying when Chanyeol threw him on the floor of his apartment building's hallway. 

 

"You can come back when you apologize and stop being a little bitch."

 

"But–"

 

"Go home, Baekhyun!"

 

The door slammed shut.

 

-

 

This is all Jongdae's fault, Baekhyun thought as he cried angrily into the sleeves of his sweater.

 

He was alone at home in his and Hyung's flower covered bedroom and used the time without his twin effectively to cry out his eyes and ice his swelling cheek. Hyung would ask him what was going on if he'd find him like this and Baekhyun knew he had to seize the moment.

 

It felt good to cry, because besides the initial anger towards his friend Baekhyun also felt himself letting out the fear and anxiety he had felt while facing Chanyeol. It didn't make much sense to him as his boyfriend hadn't hurt him before, but somehow Baekhyun's heart wouldn't stop racing in his chest. In his head he saw Chanyeol raising his hand again and again to strike him and it had him freezing over in dread.

 

Only when the late afternoon sky darkened did he stop sobbing into his arms. Hyung would come home soon and Baekhyun knew he had to shower and collect himself to face his twin.

 

He was deep in his thoughts, shampooing his hair when a soft body joined him under the warm stream. Baekhyun jumped in surprise, but felt himself relaxing immediately when he glanced down to see Hyung's tattooed arms wrapped around his torso.

 

He leaned back and closed his eyes when Hyung's hands slid lower to roam his pelvis. Hyung was half-hard behind him and Baekhyun felt himself reacting to the soft touches when Hyung started kissing along his shoulder blades.

 

"Baby," Hyung mouthed against his skin as he cupped Baekhyun's balls and wrapped one of his hands around Baekhyun's cock. The touch was so soft and careful that Baekhyun felt his chest constricting again and with a small whine he turned in his brother's arms to wrap his own arms around his twin's neck. 

 

He let his hands roam over Hyung's chest, his fingers first following the inked lines on his skin, before pressing along the heavy scars hiding underneath. Baekhyun knew that they were a testament of his will to protect him and, thankful, he leaned down to kiss the scars running across the skin over his brother's heart. 

 

Hyung's eyes were unfathomable, but his hands steadied Baekhyun's body carefully while the younger leaned close for a kiss. All the emotional tumult of the day made him reach out for his twin and Hyung held him carefully in his arms as Baekhyun pressed as close as possible.

 

"Baby." Hyung's voice was gentle when he grabbed the younger twin's chin and tilted his head up. "Tell me what happened. You cried."

 

Baekhyun shook his head and hid his face in his brother's neck, afraid that his hyung would somehow guess what was going on. He was quick to distract his twin from his thoughts, his small hands sneaking down to wrap around Hyung's cock.

 

Touching his twin intimately never failed to amaze Baekhyun and he knew Hyung felt the same. In a way it was as if he was touching himself, because as everywhere else they were exactly the same down there, too. With one major difference, of course.

 

Baekhyun carefully thumbed his brother's ampallang, his pad brushing over the round beads on each end of the thick barbell. The piercing was warm under his touch, heated from the warm water and their skin contact, and Hyung hissed when Baekhyun's fingers pressed against his cockhead. 

 

Baekhyun thought almost yearningly about the way his brother's cock felt inside his body, stretching him open with the piercing scraping along the whole length of his walls. The thought that he had denied Chanyeol crossed his mind, but he pushed it away from himself. Hyung was always the one who was there for him and who'd help him calm down. Hyung always made everything better, he always took care of him. And if Baekhyun needed his brother's touch, then Hyung would give it to him– it had nothing to do with Chanyeol.

 

Comforted by those thoughts alone, Baekhyun leaned up to press a kiss to his brother's lips while his hands kept stroking Hyung's cock. It fit nicely in his hands and when Hyung gently guided him down on his knees, Baekhyun went willingly to wrap his lips around his brother's length.

 

Baekhyun moaned around the hot flesh and squeezed his eyes shut in delight at the thrilling feeling of both soft skin and the hard metal of the piercing digging into his cheeks. This was one of the reasons he loved to suck his brother's cock– the other being his hyung's fine hands running through his hair and pulling gently on its strands.

 

Hyung's voice– the same as Baekhyun's, but usually pitched lower –was uncontrolled and his hips jerked wildly under Baekhyun's hands. The fact that his mouth and tongue wrecked his usually so in control brother this good was thrilling to Baekhyun.

 

Hyung came just when the water started to turn cold and threatened to ruin their fun. He grabbed Baekhyun under his armpits and pulled him up against his heaving chest. They let the cooling stream wash off their sweat and cum for a moment, before Hyung nudged Baekhyun out of the shower and towards the towels.

 

Baekhyun was just drying off when Hyung asked again, "Baek, tell me what happened to you."

 

Sighing Baekhyun wrapped the towel around his shoulders like a cape and shook his wet hair. "Nothing, Hyung. I'm fine."

 

His brother didn't say a word after that, but the whole remaining night while they were cooking, eating, lazing around and after turning off the lights, fucking, Baekhyun felt his twin's worried dark eyes resting thoughtfully on him.

 

-

 

A week later Baekhyun was a brooding mess. Chanyeol hadn't called him, hadn't greeted him and had outright ignored Baekhyun around campus. It was as if he was invisible again, only that this time the desperate feelings of being worthless were topped with heartbreak.

 

Baekhyun was so sad that he couldn't even get himself to snap at Jongdae who kept him company in his bitter solitude.

 

Chanyeol was unreachable again and Baekhyun didn't know how to fix things between them with the way the senior treated him as if he wasn't even there.

 

It was all this which rendered Baekhyun speechless when after another week Chanyeol suddenly plopped down next to him on the campus lawn and roughly pulled him into his arms, much like he had done the day they had started to date.

 

Baekhyun's eyes were wide open and his mouth slack in shock as the senior swooped him up into a forceful kiss only to peck his lips a few times after.

 

"I missed you, babe," He crooned at him and his arms tightened around Baekhyun to pull the surprised boy between his legs and on his lap.

 

" _Wha_ –" Baekhyun didn't even get to finish because as soon as he leaned back to stare at the senior in disbelieve he was pulled back into a kiss.

 

Chanyeol's hands were roaming his back, slipping lower to cup his ass and Baekhyun shuddered in his hold, dazed and aroused and impossibly confused.

 

"I'm so glad you apologized, babe. I missed you so much! I couldn't get enough of you yesterday!" The senior said huskily when he finally let go of Baekhyun's lips.

 

Somewhere in his dazed mind a small warning bell was going off and Baekhyun felt his stomach sinking with a sickening sensation.

 

"Yesterday?" He asked, a twinge of déjà-vu clouding his senses for a moment. He had to grab Chanyeol as he felt himself losing his balance. The senior quickly steadied him with his hands, an unreadable expression on his face as he snatched Baekhyun's chin and made him look up at him.

 

"Babe, you okay? You look pale–"

 

Baekhyun nodded, but felt as if he was sleepwalking while his whole body was numb and frozen.

 

"What happened yesterday?" He asked with a small voice, already knowing the answer.

 

Chanyeol smiled as he tilted Baekhyun's head further back to look down into his eyes.

 

"You called me yesterday. We met up and–" Chanyeol shrugged. "You apologized when I told you I wouldn't fuck you without an apology." He leered. "I bet you're still sore, you were so hot, babe!"

 

Baekhyun sagged in Chanyeol's hold and felt close to fainting.

 

Hyung, he thought heartbrokenly as he stared into Chanyeol's smiling face. Hyung why would you do this to me?

 

 

That was exactly what he asked the moment he stormed into their apartment and burst into tears.

 

Hyung stared at him as if he had lost it and maybe he had, because the first thing Baekhyun did was raise his hand and slap it down hard enough across his twin's face to have him fall to the petal dusted floor.

 

Hyung was back on his feet in less than a second and the way he bared his teeth in scandalized outrage as he gripped Baekhyun's wrists and pushed him against the wall was inhuman enough to have the younger twin freeze in fear for a second. Then he remembered Chanyeol and arched up with a cry. His hands balled to fists and he ripped them in his brother's hard grip, legs kicking out as he struggled and screamed until tears streamed down his face.

 

" _Calm the fuck down!_ " Hyung snapped at him, but Baekhyun answered him with a loud cry of rage and hurt.

 

" _Why would you do this to me! Why would you do this to me!_ " He screamed, sobs and snot and spit flying as he tried to rip his hands out of Hyung's grasp to claw at his face.

 

Hyung scowled and smashed his struggling hands back with so much force that Baekhyun felt his bones rattling under his skin. He cried out and started to kick again, but Hyung was quick to slam his pelvis between Baekhyun's thighs and to press him immobile against the wall.

 

Like this Baekhyun was forced to calm down, but his sobs and angry wails only ebbed down after long minutes. Hyung was wordlessly watching him, his face bruising where Baekhyun had hit him, but not once raising his hand to get back at the younger twin.

 

He only let go of Baekhyun when the younger's sobs turned into hiccups and his eyes stopped pouring tears. Baekhyun immediately coiled into himself, dry heaves wrecking his body as he bent over and gasped for air.

 

Hyung was on him in a split second, his hands forcing Baekhyun's face up to press it against his neck, his arms wrapping around the younger to rock him soothingly. Baekhyun tensed and tried to lean away, but his brother's arms led him insistently against his chest. Baekhyun didn't even realize that he had been about to hyperventilate until breathing became easier tucked away against his brother's body.

 

"Oh god, baby. Breathe, c'mon. Don't do this to me–"

 

He cried again in the safety of his brother's arms and scent and his voice was laced with so much hurt that the older twin couldn't help but tighten his arms around him in concern.

 

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he muttered with a helpless voice until Baekhyun calmed down again and curled closer around his bend form. 

 

"Why did you do it, Hyung? Why did you take my Chanyeol?"

 

The question was enough to make the older twin freeze up, but apart from his fingers tightening on Baekhyun's skin he kept himself under control and breathed in deeply before he answered.

 

"I knew something was going on!" he gasped out. "Baek, I told you to stay away from him!" Hyung's voice was shaking with suppressed anger, but his hands on Baekhyun's body were gentle when they caressed the younger twin's trembling back.

 

"He's my _boyfriend_!" Baekhyun cried out, his own fingers tightening where they had gripped his twin's black hoody. 

 

"He's _playing_ you! That lying son of a bitch–" Hyung countered angrily, his voice dripping venom, but his eyes looking wide and horrified at Baekhyun's words.

 

"You're saying this because he's taking me away from you– because he's sleeping with me and caring for me–"

 

Not even once did Baekhyun realize that Chanyeol's priorities shone through his words in such blatant truth that it was painful to hear. Hyung noticed, though, and his eyes darkened in anger at the way Chanyeol would rather fuck his naive twin than care for him.

 

"Baek, that fucker isn't good for you! I'm saying this to make you stay away from him!"

 

Baekhyun made an angry sound and finally turned his face away from where it was pressed against his brother's neck.

 

"You're fucking my _boyfriend_ behind my back to steal him away! I don't get you!–"

 

"Did he tell you that?" Hyung's voice was cold fury and acid poison. "I don't fucking care about Park Chanyeol, but you are _mine_! I won't let this fucker hurt you!"

 

" _And sabotaging my relationship by fucking my boyfriend helps you protect me how_?" Baekhyun's voice was so shrill now that he was almost screaming. Hyung only stared at him speechlessly.

 

"Baekhyun did you even listen to what I said? I didn't fuck your boyfriend. That fucker disgusts me! He contacted me out of nowhere. And he's fucking playing you!" Hyung reached behind himself and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. 

 

"Fuck! I was wondering why that fucker didn't stop texting me, why he was so full of allusions." Hyung laughed humorlessly and stared at Baekhyun's wide eyes. "Do you really think that Park mistakes us for one and the same person?" He laughed again, but it sounded bitter now. "I bet he had your number, too, so why would he still contact me? That fucker knows _exactly_ what he's doing!"

 

Baekhyun broke away from his hyung's arms and stared at him with wide eyes.

 

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes shimmering wet and cheeks tinting pink. The thought that Hyung had known all along that Baekhyun had seized the opportunity to play him, the "hot babe" that had slept with Chanyeol at the beginning of everything, was agony and Baekhyun was ashamed and shaking so hard that he almost fainted.

 

"Park isn't dumb enough to mistake you for me." Hyung scowled and his hands balled to fists. "He's a fucked-up psycho, but he knows what he's doing. He's playing you. This is exactly how he gets to hold you in the palm of his fucking hand, _naive little sweet baby Baek._ You're letting him get to you again–" He breathed harshly as if the words were hurting him physically. "I'm just glad he isn't hurting you." Hyung's voice was barely above a whisper when he muttered the last sentence.

 

Baekhyun heard it, though, and he shuddered in dread as Chanyeol striking him flashed through his mind. He stared at his twin's suddenly exhausted face, his own twisting in hurt and confusion.

 

"Hyung that doesn't even– what you're saying is– _So what if he knows_! What does that even mean other than that he likes me enough to keep me as his boyfriend!"

 

Hyung groaned and when he answered there was something akin to pity in his eyes that cut deeper than all the betrayal and pain Baekhyun had gone through.

 

"You're so dumb, Baekhyun, so clueless." His mouth twisted downwards in honest frustration. "You need to stay away from him, because it's not even you he wants. You're the sweet angel he already killed. It's me he wants now and he gets it by using you." Hyung gritted his teeth in anger and clenched his hands to fists around his phone. 

 

"He's lying and manipulating you. He's dating you to bait me."

 

-

 

"I don't believe a fucking word!" Jongdae cried out what Baekhyun wanted so badly to believe.

 

"And also what fucking _bait_ , every time your hyung fucks him Chanyeol's running straight to you, ain't he?"

 

Jongdae was so scandalized that he forgot his initial disdain towards the senior and redirected all his negative feelings at Baekhyun's twin.

 

Baekhyun nodded over the rim of his cup, face ashen as he listened to Jongdae's angry rant.

 

It was Monday again and they were skipping their first morning lecture in favor of discussing in detail what Baekhyun had only vaguely hinted as he had texted his friend. The coffee shop was mostly empty thanks to the ungodly time, the early business rush already over and with it all bustle on the counter. Though Baekhyun had the uncomfortable feeling that the bored barista at the register was listening into their conversations again.

 

"You need to set things straight– talk to Chanyeol and clear this mess! That's your man and your childish brother obviously wants to snatch him away by twisting things around to confuse you!"

 

Ah yes, Baekhyun thought with a sigh. There was no way he could have told Jongdae the whole truth and motivation behind his brother's actions. Like this his friend was bound to believe that the twins were fighting over the same man when, in fact, Hyung just wanted to keep him away from Chanyeol.

 

"It's not that easy–" Baekhyun muttered, but Jongdae groaned and slapped his shoulder.

 

"It actually is! You find your damn boyfriend and you talk to him. Bet it won't even take long, that asshat's prolly searching for you right now."

 

Baekhyun frowned. "Did you just call him an assha–"

 

"Baekhyun!" A new voice called out and Jongdae rolled his eyes dramatically.

 

"There he is, Park Chanyeol in the flesh, what a surprise," He scoffed and grabbed his things to peace out of the brooding drama waiting to unfold. "I'm leaving! You two talk!" He snapped and was out the door faster than Chanyeol needed to sit down on the newly vacated seat.

 

Baekhyun swallowed nervously, but tried to smile when Chanyeol reached out and grabbed his hands roughly. Everything his hyung had told him was running through his head and his thoughts were spinning and making him dizzy.

 

"Where were you! I was waiting for you in front of the auditorium, but you never came! I told you to always text me where you are!"

 

Baekhyun smiled uncomfortably at the way Chanyeol shouted at him angrily, his mind blank as he desperately tried to find a way to spill what was lying heavy on his soul and had his chest constricting in anxiety.

 

"Chanyeol– Yesterday when you said that I called you and... and that we slept with each other–" he stuttered, unsure how to continue, the words dying on his tongue before he could spit them out. _Did you know that it had been Hyung sleeping with you? Did you use me? Is it all true?_

 

"Babe?" Chanyeol's face twisted and he grabbed the armrest to balance himself up and closer to him.

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, his nervousness turning his stomach in uneasiness, but he had to say the words.

 

"It was my twin! My _hyung_!"

 

Chanyeol's whole body froze midway up to getting on his feet and Baekhyun watched with blurry vision how his mouth fell open in what looked like surprise. The obligatory _Oh!_ was evident in the way his lips and eyes widened and Baekhyun saw a touch of embarrassment tinging the tips of Chanyeol's ears pink.

 

"Twins," the senior mouthed and his eyes widened a little more when he finally got up on his feet to look down at where Baekhyun was leaning listlessly sitting on his chair.

 

 _He didn't know_ , Baekhyun thought, impossibly relieved. Hyung was lying and Chanyeol had most probably told the truth all the time. He really had slept with Hyung. Baekhyun wanted to cry.

 

But maybe Chanyeol wouldn't care. Maybe he'd dismiss Hyung and groan in betrayed embarrassment while hugging him and telling him that he cared only about Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun was too absorbed in his own hopeful thoughts to realize that Chanyeol was staring at him with an odd gleam in his eyes. The senior leaned close, towering intimidatingly over Baekhyun's crouched form and his hands reached out to tighten on Baekhyun's shoulders.

 

There was something unfathomable in Chanyeol's dark eyes and Baekhyun was absolutely lost for a second.

 

"Twins, Baekhyun?" Had Baekhyun been a bit more observant he would have noticed the way Chanyeol didn't sound surprised at all. Clueless and worldly innocent as he was, though, Baekhyun mistook Chanyeol's voice as unbelieving and his gleaming eyes as dismissive. 

 

Eyes narrowed Chanyeol looked him up and down as Baekhyun wordlessly nodded. Baekhyun knew what would follow now and it had his heart sinking in his chest. Chanyeol wouldn't just simply believe him and things would turn embarrassing, then ugly. Because who was he kidding? Why would Chanyeol ever choose him over Hyung? Compared to his twin, Baekhyun could only lose. 

 

Baekhyun tensed up nervously when his boyfriend's hands tightened around his hips. He hoped that Chanyeol wouldn't touch him in the middle of the coffee shop, but the magic of the word _twin_ tended to have people forget about social etiquette when they checked if he was speaking the truth.

 

There were tattoos hiding under Hyung's clothes, dark ink that was missing on Baekhyun's skin. Baekhyun had wondered why Chanyeol had never said a word about them, but he had a feeling he would check and notice their absence now.

 

He wasn't disappointed. Chanyeol's hands pulled his shirt out of his pants and unbuttoned it roughly, his fingers digging into Baekhyun's skin and making him squirm uncomfortably.

 

"Don't move!" the senior ordered, before his harsh hands slid over smooth and unblemished skin. His voice was that of a perfect actor's when he exclaimed, "No tattoos– fuck, it's true! I thought I was going crazy when I saw them again! I wonder if–" His gaze dropped to Baekhyun's crotch and with an embarrassed wail Baekhyun quickly squeezed his thighs together.

 

" _Nonono_! You can't check on that here! _We're in public_!" He cried feverishly, but Chanyeol just snapped at him to shut it and knocked his thighs apart.

 

" _It's not there– I don't have it_!" Baekhyun begged frantically, but his boyfriend grabbed the button of his jeans and pulled down the zipper without listening to him.

 

Baekhyun felt tears welling up in his eyes and glanced with panic around the shop. It was still mostly empty, and as their seats were pressed into a booth no one really took notice of them. He still felt like dying when Chanyeol slid his hands in his underwear and grabbed his cock.

 

"No, Chanyeol– _stop_ –"

 

" _Get the fuck away from him, Park_!" a new voice said and Baekhyun wanted to cry in relief when he was roughly pulled away from Chanyeol.

 

He sobbed and closed his eyes when he was wrapped in a strong embrace, but snapped them wide open a second later when he realized what it meant.

 

Hyung was here to help and Baekhyun was sobbing in relief, but by the murderous look in his brother's eyes Hyung was seconds away from hacking Chanyeol's hands off.

 

Chanyeol snapped his head up so fast that Baekhyun flinched at the sound of the senior's neck cracking. With a sinking feeling Baekhyun saw his boyfriend's eyes widening at the sight of his hyung.

 

Baekhyun wasn't surprised that, even though fairly warned, Chanyeol went through the inevitable shock and awe that everyone seemed to experience when seeing the twins together for the first time. It just proved that his words had fallen on deaf ears, though Baekhyun was used to that. It still hurt, though, especially as Chanyeol's eyes glazed over with delight.

 

Baekhyun, with all his insecurities and self-loathing, actually didn't understand why. It wasn't as if there was a palpable difference between him and his hyung. They looked _exactly_ alike after all. Baekhyun knew that most people got headaches looking at them at the same time.

 

They both had the same soft hair- almost the same color, too. They had the same pale skin, the same face and the same body. They spoke with the same voice, the same expressions and the same hand gestures.

 

But he knew that there was a pull to Hyung that he himself lacked. Where Baekhyun's eyes were nervously dropping to the ground or glancing around for an easy escape, Hyung's were always unwavering and strong, never looking away from someone he focused on. Just like now, Baekhyun thought, as Hyung burned Chanyeol down to ashes with his glare.

 

Hyung's eyes were dark and narrowed, only glancing away from Chanyeol's wide eyes to stare at where the senior's hands had touched Baekhyun. His own hands were quick to pull up Baekhyun's jeans and to button them up, his fingers gripping hard as they jammed the younger twin's shirt under his waistband. Baekhyun curled around his brother, feeling safe in his twin's protective arms that wrapped around him to keep him safe from anything coming to hurt him.

 

He missed the hard stares of mutual recognition both Chanyeol and Hyung threw each other, but even with his view blocked pressed against his twin's neck, Baekhyun knew his hyung was pulling up the right corner of his upper lip to twist it in disgust. It was the reason Baekhyun felt betrayed again, as his hyung made sure to have him understand how much he disliked Park Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun knew now that it was definitely due to jealousy, an instinctive repulsion, maybe, towards anything Baekhyun could possibly love more than his twin. Jongdae was right, his hyung was holding him back. He knew that his hyung was itching to hurt, to reach out and to keep Chanyeol away from him, no matter how much Baekhyun wanted all of this to be over and himself happily reunited with Chanyeol without any misunderstandings.

 

Belatedly, Baekhyun wondered why he had ever even been surprised that his hyung had chosen to get this close to someone he hated just to keep Baekhyun away from him. Hyung would do anything to keep him safe from someone he deemed dangerous or who threatened to come between them.

 

Baekhyun felt his heart sinking in his chest as from the corner of his eyes he saw Chanyeol straightening up. Baekhyun felt small and forgotten, stuck in his brother's overprotective arms, but at least he was hidden from Hyung's cold eyes.

 

"It's _you_!"

 

The way Chanyeol's voice sounded so mesmerized was torture and Baekhyun slumped against his brother's hold as he glanced at his boyfriend with hopeless eyes. He was so convinced that Chanyeol was in love with his twin that he didn't hear the ill-concealed, malicious anticipation in his boyfriend's voice. To Baekhyun it was awe and the moment his heart broke he realized that a part of him had hoped for Chanyeol to prefer him over his twin– even though Baekhyun knew that it was an impossible wish.

 

Next to Hyung Baekhyun could only lose. That was just the way it was.

 

Baekhyun swallowed and willed back the tears that were pressing behind his eyeballs. It was when he heard Chanyeol taking a tentative step towards them that he let his head hang low to hide behind his bangs. The unwanted tears welled up in his eyes and slid down his cheeks and he didn't know what he hated more, his own helplessness or the way his hyung caught the attention of everyone Baekhyun wanted for himself.

 

It had always been like this, though– Baekhyun stuck as the canvas on which Hyung's brilliant colors caught everyone's eyes. No wonder he turned invisible in Chanyeol's as soon as Hyung was there. His boyfriend had probably already forgotten about him.

 

Baekhyun angrily wiped the tears away, hoping that Hyung was too invested in the moment to notice him sniffling. Things could turn ugly if the older twin caught him crying over Chanyeol again and the last thing Baekhyun wanted was to give his brother a reason to hurt his boyfriend.

 

He glanced up nervously. Chanyeol was still tall and broad in front of them and Baekhyun snuffled discretely before craning his neck to steal a look at his twin. Hyung's face was strangely blank, but Baekhyun realized with a sudden sense of horror that this was his war face. He wanted to hurt Chanyeol, but he also knew that ignoring his urge to beat him into a bloody pulp would get him to drag away Baekhyun faster without making a scene in the coffee shop.

 

Baekhyun almost shrunk back when his twin's dark eyes glanced at him, but then Chanyeol took another step forward and the way Hyung's eyes gleamed with rage made him reach out for his boyfriend instead.

 

Chanyeol turned his head to look down at him and the way the senior's eyes held unmasked surprise to see him there had Baekhyun's heart aching in another wave of heartbreak. He really had forgotten about him already.

 

Baekhyun swallowed down his hurt and disappointment, his hands pushing slightly to make room for himself as he finally stepped out from the safety of his brother's arms. He was careful not to look up into his boyfriend's eyes when he pushed Chanyeol back and out of danger, and he also avoided his twin's eyes until he stepped back next to him.

 

"You should go, Chanyeol," Baekhyun pleaded as he turned around to his brother.

 

Hands reached out as soon as he leaned against his twin and Baekhyun closed his eyes when his hyung pulled him into his arms to wrap him into an even more protective embrace– as if Baekhyun's close proximity to Chanyeol physically pained the older twin.

 

Hidden in his brother's arms Baekhyun missed Chanyeol's eyes staring at them calculatedly.

 

As similar as they were in physical appearance, Baekhyun and his twin were entirely opposites in personality and Chanyeol saw it all now with clarity. _(He had always wanted to see them next to each other, had wanted to compare and evaluate them. It hadn't been possible before, but now everything was different.)_

 

It reflected most in the way they dressed– Baekhyun in his forever neutral colors that helped him to blend in and hide if necessary, the older twin almost entirely in black to intimidate whoever he deemed a nuisance or threat.

 

Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun liked to hide behind his long bangs, while his brother seemed to have a habit of pushing back his hair out of his face. It was like that now, too, and Chanyeol watched Baekhyun stare up at his twin from behind the safety of his hair as the older boy made sure to press him as close as possible.

 

He could see it now, the way Baekhyun's body was entirely engulfed by his brother's and the way the older twin's hands grabbed the younger protectively as if daring Chanyeol to touch him again. _(How silly, though, Chanyeol thought, trying to protect something that had been his and defiled by his hands from the very beginning)_.

 

At the same time Chanyeol observed all of this, Baekhyun wondered wordlessly what Chanyeol was thinking. What he was seeing.

 

He carefully tilted his head from where it was pressed to the top of his brother's shoulder, his eyes squinting a little as he tried to look at Chanyeol without his hyung noticing.

 

The senior was staring at them with wide eyes, his mouth twitching mildly as if his face wasn't yet sure in which direction to distort. There was a hunger in his eyes, though, the same Baekhyun had felt directed at him earlier. It scared him enough to shudder in his brother's arms and when he glanced up at his scoffing twin he saw Hyung's eyes darkening dangerously.

 

"Babe!"

 

Baekhyun closed his eyes in distress at Chanyeol's choice of words and hoped that his brother wouldn't snap. His ears were deaf to the way Chanyeol had snidely scoffed the word. He only felt the arms around his body tensing for a second and was quick to wrap his own around his twin.

 

He hoped that his brother knew that Chanyeol was addressing _him_ and not Baekhyun, but with the way Hyung's fingers dug deep into the soft skin on his hips Baekhyun doubted that his brother was coherent enough to think anything.

 

"Babe, it's _me_." Chanyeol's saccharine voice cut through the tense silence and Baekhyun winced audibly this time, his fingers clutching the back of his brother's thick hoody as if to grab him in case he'd jump Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun couldn't believe that Chanyeol was trying this with his twin. The sound of his boyfriend calling his older brother 'babe' was enough to have Baekhyun squeezing his eyes shut in distress.

 

"I know who you are, Park."

 

Hyung's voice was deadly, the coldest ice and the most poisonous acid. Baekhyun flinched in his twin's arms and struggled a little to turn enough to look up at his brother, his eyes wide and pleading as he stared at him.

 

"And I know that you touched something that's mine. Again."

 

Baekhyun closed his eyes, but this time numbness spread through his body and made him almost faint in his brother's arms. He didn't dare glance at Chanyeol out of fear of what he'd find on his boyfriend's face. He hid his face against his brother's chest instead, hurt and embarrassment and fear making him feel weak as he turned his back to Chanyeol.

 

Again? He thought for a moment before dismissing the thought when he heard the senior stepping nearer and felt his brother's body tensing up. He gripped tighter on his twin's back, pressing his body closer and muffling a small sound against Hyung's chest to calm him down.

 

Unsurprisingly all of this relaxed Hyung as Baekhyun's weakness always soothed the older twin and reminded him that keeping Baekhyun safe was more important that satisfying his savage needs for revenge.

 

Park Chanyeol, though, was testing all his goodwill and wasting all of Baekhyun's efforts.

 

Ignoring the blatant signs screaming at him to stay the fuck away from the twins, the senior stepped closer and would have reached out for them had the older twin not turned out of his reach with a scowl.

 

"Don't you fucking dare touch him, Park," Hyung seethed and Baekhyun felt his cheeks flush from where they were still pressed against Hyung's neck. His brother had it all wrong, though why Baekhyun didn't understand. Hyung had told him exactly what was about to unfold. It wasn't _Baekhyun_ Chanyeol was trying to reach out for, it was–

 

"I'm not here for him, I was searching for _you_!"

 

Baekhyun heard his hyung gritting his teeth so hard that he felt cold shudders running down his spine. When he tried glancing up at his brother, though, small but hard hands kept his head firmly in place where it was bedded against the column of Hyung's neck.

 

Baekhyun muffled another pathetic sound of frustration and felt himself torn with the need to hide his heartbreak in his brother's arms or to push his twin away for the betrayal he was witnessing now.

 

Hyung had been with Chanyeol, had slept with him repeatedly, had _fucked_ with him, all of this even though there was no one he seemingly despised more than the senior. All of this so Chanyeol remained unreachable for Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun felt his throat tightening and his eyes hurting again at that thought. It wasn't as if he'd had any real chances with Chanyeol anyway. He had been content to watch his crush from afar and be happy whenever he caught Chanyeol smiling on campus. That would have been enough for him, but, of course, his brother ruined it with his overly eager overprotectiveness. Now they all were caught in this mess and Baekhyun felt as if his heart was about to break from all the hurt it was going through.

 

But Hyung's protective sense didn't care for fine sentiments like that and would never allow any other men in Baekhyun's perimeter. Baekhyun belonged to him and he didn't compromise. Baekhyun's body was his, even Baekhyun's tender emotional life was and the thought of the younger thinking about someone who wasn't him was unbearable. 

 

Baekhyun saw it all now clearly. It had all always been about Hyung's ownership over him. His brother had lied, had slept with Chanyeol behind his back, had done everything to keep Baekhyun away from his crush while chained even tighter to him.

 

Baekhyun felt his chest constricting and himself suffocating on his heartbreak. When he looked at Chanyeol all he could see was the hunger for his brother in his boyfriend's eyes. Baekhyun was alone.

 

"Take me home," He gasped out at his twin and felt more tears sliding down his cheeks as he pressed his face against his brother's neck. "Hyung, take me home!"

 

-

 

 

Hyung was tactful enough not to show his relief when Baekhyun let him lead him home.

 

It comforted Baekhyun enough to stop the tears, though the thought of his twin backstabbing and lying to him was hurting him enough to keep him sobbing. It was as terrible as the thought of Chanyeol not wanting him anymore in favor of his twin, but Baekhyun pushed the thought away, unable to handle it.

 

"You need to stop crying," Hyung pleaded when he sat Baekhyun down on their flower covered bed and knelt to pull the younger twin's sneakers from his feet. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" Hyung's voice dropped an octave and his hands around Baekhyun's calf and ankle tightened anxiously.

 

He thinks it's only because of Chanyeol, Baekhyun thought as he shook his head. He thinks it's because Chanyeol made me cry at the coffee shop.

 

Baekhyun felt his throat tightening up at Hyung's blatant lack of understanding. His brother didn't even realize that Baekhyun was mourning the loss of his relationship with Chanyeol and was upset by his twin's betrayal. 

 

It's because he thinks I'm dumb, Baekhyun realized and his eyes started burning with the urge to cry. He said it before– he really thinks I'm stupid. _Naive little sweet baby Baek_.

 

"Then stop crying, baby, please? He's not worth it, sweetheart, c'mon." Hyung pleaded softly, clueless about Baekhyun's thoughts. He looked up at him expectantly, his hands coming up to cup his younger brother's face to thumb the rim of his wet eyes.

 

"You lied," Baekhyun muttered in lieu of an answer and he felt his hyung's hands tighten on his face. "Chanyeol didn't know that there are two of us– he didn't use me to bait you– _You lied_!" The last words were cried out with his voice breaking and Baekhyun hung his head low when he felt tears sliding down his face. 

 

"And now– now Chanyeol won't look at me! Because there is _you_ , who he now knows isn’t _me_ – I lost him, _I lost him_!” Baekhyun heard his voice cracking, but there were no more words left in him anyway. Bitter sobs were forcing their way through his swollen throat and he choked as he shook in front of his brother. 

 

"You want to stay with him even though he hurt you?" Hyung's voice was oddly calm, but one of his hands snatched Baekhyun's chin to force his head up to look at him. "Would that have made you happy?"

 

Baekhyun sobbed and shook off his hyung's fingers on his face. He took a shuddering breath and rubbed his wet eyes, keeping his face covered as he muttered, "I would have been happy just looking at him from afar! I would have been happy with how things were before you messed with Chanyeol– I would– _I would have been happy staying invisible_!" 

 

He muffled a sob when his brother grabbed his hands to gently pull them away from his face. With a cry he ripped his hands from his brother's grip and leaned out of his twin's reach. 

 

" _No_!" He cried, his voice full of indignation. "Hyung, you ruined everything– _You ruined everything_!" He started to weep bitterly, twisting his body away whenever Hyung tried to touch him.

 

"I didn't lie, Baekhyun. I swear I never lied to you. But you're right, I ruined everything," Hyung said after he gave up trying to pull the younger twin into his arms. His voice was small, exhausted, as was his sigh when he sat back on the flower littered floor and ran his fingers through his white hair in frustration. The dry petals were rustling under his weight and Baekhyun heard them crumble against the floor.

 

"But you know nothing, Baekhyun! _Fucking nothing_!" 

 

Baekhyun hiccuped, a sudden rush of anger making him sit up to stare down at his brother. Hyung was staring at the floor with bitter eyes, his mouth twisted into such an upset frown that Baekhyun abruptly forgot about his rage. 

 

"I know that you slept with my Chanyeol to take him away from me! To make him only see you so that I'll never have a chance with him! Because you want me to stay chained to you– _Because you can't bear me loving someone besides you_!" 

 

"You know _nothing_ , Baekhyun," Hyung said with a tired voice and the matter-of-fact way he said it had Baekhyun's breath hitching. 

 

"I told you so many times to stay away from him, didn't I? But you don't listen, not even when the fucker starts showing his true colors. He's still playing you! You're so fucking naive, Baekhyun!" Hyung was breathing heavily, his dark eyes burning into Baekhyun's face, which was wide and open, round eyes staring down at him in hurt and faint anger. 

 

"Chanyeol is _nothing_ like you think!" Baekhyun cried out, his voice cracking in outrage. 

 

Hyung stared up at him, his face suddenly bare of any emotion. The way his eyes darkened, though, clenched Baekhyun's stomach painfully and he backed away when the older twin slowly got up on his feet. 

 

In the blink of an eye Hyung had him pinned under him, his body forcing Baekhyun's flat against the bed as he pressed him immobile. Dried flowers were pressing uncomfortably into his skin, but Baekhyun's hands were too late to try to push him away. He tried anyway, loud cries ripping from his throat as he yelled at his brother to let go of him. 

 

Hyung had his hands caught effortlessly and Baekhyun stared at his useless limbs, angry desperation making him cry again at the realization that he was so physically inferior to his twin. He knew his brother didn't do this to hurt him, but Baekhyun felt humiliated and helpless.

 

Hyung straddled him and with one powerful motion yanked Baekhyun's arms apart and pinned them by his wrists next to the younger's head. Baekhyun stared up at his brother's blank face and the lack of anything he found there had his stomach turning in uneasiness. 

 

Hyung looked almost apathetic, a cold indifference turning him insensible to Baekhyun's increasing discomfort and struggle. His voice was oddly detached when he leaned down to murmur against Baekhyun's ear, "Park Chanyeol is _exactly_ what I _know_ he is."

 

He let go of Baekhyun, almost threw the younger's wrists away from his grip, but he kept straddling him which only allowed Baekhyun to curl up a little as he cried against his hands.

 

"And that's the problem. Because you're right, Baekhyun. I ruined everything."

 

Baekhyun was sobbing into his palms, unwilling to listen, but Hyung was stroking what little was peeking out of his hidden face now and Baekhyun instinctively complied with the wordless demand to turn his head. 

 

Above him Hyung's face was now a mix of poorly concealed guilt and the expressionless mask he tried to uphold. It was such a bizarre sight that Baekhyun felt himself reluctantly worrying for his twin.

 

Hands reached out for him again and this time Baekhyun didn't fight them when they cupped his cheeks gently. Something about Hyung had changed, something Baekhyun couldn't comprehend, but which twisted the rage in his body into worry without him being able to stop it. When his brother arched down to press their foreheads together, Baekhyun thought for a split second that Hyung was about to cry. 

 

He apologized instead, his voice barely above a whisper when he leaned in closer to press their lips together. 

 

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so, so sorry." 

 

Hyung had his eyes shut, but Baekhyun realized with increasing concern that his strong brother's whole demeanor had changed from angry and frustrated to repentant and sorrowful. It was bizarre. 

 

"Hyung–" Baekhyun murmured and with a soundless sigh reached out for the back of his brother's head to comb his fingers through his hair. "Hyung, it's okay...You just need to let go of me and let me out of your cage. Chanyeol is–"

 

Hyung groaned, something that sounded like, "God, Baekhyun!" And Baekhyun snapped his mouth shut. 

 

The older twin sat up with an exasperated sigh, his hands slipping from Baekhyun's face to run through his own hair. He looked so sad and resigned that Baekhyun felt his heart constricting in his chest.

 

"So clueless," Hyung muttered and he gripped strands of his hair to pull in frustration, before he let go with a sigh and touched Baekhyun's face. "You won't ever stop talking about him, following him, _loving him_ , unless I shatter your world, hmn? But I tried to protect you, baby, without destroying all of this. I tried to keep you safe from him without taking away your precious world." 

 

Hyung tenderly stroked Baekhyun's frozen face, his voice gentle when he told the younger, "I should have never followed you. I tainted your perfect life in here, didn't I?" His mouth twisted in a sad smile. 

 

"Hyung?"

 

"But it's okay, baby. I'll kill that fucker with my own hands. I'll smash his face with my fists and I'll rip his heart out before he can touch you again."

 

Baekhyun gasped, his breathing staggering for a second and his heart stuttering so hard in his chest that he felt his whole body numbing.

 

"What?" he whispered, his eyes wide open as he stared at his hyung, but his twin just smiled at him heartbrokenly and leaned down to brush his lips against Baekhyun's slack mouth.

 

"It's my fault everything turned into this. I'll take care of it, don't worry, baby. I'll make you forget about him and you'll be fine. I won't let anything evil touch you ever again."

 

Baekhyun's head was so blank and his body so numb that he felt the sudden panic slamming into his system like a physical force. His breathing that had faltered before returned to him twice as fast and he heard himself gasping, his hands coming up to grip onto his twin as he choked for air. 

 

What was Hyung talking about?

 

Hyung cupped his face, kissing him while holding him close until the panic attack subsided and Baekhyun started crying when he realized that this was it, the essence of their relationship, his hyung both the poison killing him and the antidote saving him.

 

"You'll never stop thinking about him now, will you? Not after I came here and made him look at you with all my memories," Hyung mouthed into the kiss, his hands on Baekhyun's cheeks tightening. "But he's not the perfect senior you made him be, Baek. I followed you here because I can't live without you. And because I know the truth about him, your perfect image of him twisted into his true self. I'm sorry." Hyung's voice was so small it was barely audible.

 

"I'll kill him and free your world from him. I'll make it all better–"

 

Baekhyun choked, finally finding the strength to push his twin away from his lips. "You're crazy," he whispered, eyes opened so wide that he felt his eyeballs tightening from the pressure. "Chanyeol's not the one who's a psychopath– _it's you_."

 

Hyung stared down at Baekhyun's pale and ghastly face, and suddenly he started crying, small chuckles escaping his lips as he wiped his wet cheeks. 

 

"To hear that from you of all people–" he muttered and willingly got off him when Baekhyun pushed him away roughly. "–when it was you who ran away and left me to deal with him."

 

"I have no idea what you're talking– Hyung you scare me!" Baekhyun cried out, his voice breaking off into a shriek when his brother suddenly shot out his hand to catch one of his wrists in his grip.

 

"Don't go!" Hyung pleaded. "I'm not done. You need to know. I need you to understand."

 

Baekhyun shuddered and tried to shake off his brother's hand, but his hyung only tightened his grip until Baekhyun moaned in discomfort and submitted to his demand. 

 

"Baekhyun– If it wasn't for me Chanyeol would have stayed the perfect senior you'd have admired from afar forever. But I followed you to here, into the ideal world you created for yourself. And I brought the knowledge of everything you missed with me while you were hiding in here. It changed everything. It changed Chanyeol!"

 

Baekhyun shook his head as he stared at his twin. "I don't know what you're talking about. Let me go! _Let me go_!"

 

"No, you don't know what I'm talking about. But I bet you're starting to understand, aren’t you?"

 

Baekhyun shook his head, eyes squeezed shut as new tears slid down his cheeks. A moment later he was sobbing so uncontrollably that the sound of his broken voice almost drowned out his twin's words. 

 

"You created a perfect little world in here, in your head. With your best friend Jongdae and your perfect crush Chanyeol. Everything as it was in the beginning, right? Before Chanyeol started to hurt you, before he started to beat and abuse you for every little thing until you were bloody and broken, until you created me to take over whenever you couldn't bear the pain anymore."

 

" _No– nonono! You're insane, you're insane, you're insane–_ "

 

Hyung stared at him with pity, his other hand reaching out to stroke Baekhyun's cheek, but the younger twin flinched back from his touch.

 

"No, Baekhyun. I'm your protector. The first you created– even before Jongdae. I was the one who kept you safe, the one who took over when you couldn't bear it anymore. I was the one who faced all the pain and abuse when you broke apart and fled into the depths of your mind. I was the one who protected your body from it all... _our body_!"

 

Baekhyun shook his head, coiling from his twin's words as if physically hurt, but his brother grabbed him forcefully and turned him around to face him. His face was back to his expressionless mask when he let go and cupped Baekhyun's cheeks to press his face between his palms. 

 

"I followed you here after...after I killed him– I came here looking for you, to protect you, because I promised, Baekhyun! I promised you, but it backfired!" Hyung shook him, trying to get the dazed look out of Baekhyun's eyes.

 

" _Listen to me_! It's my fault that everything's messed up, that with me and my memories of him hurting us Chanyeol turned into himself instead of staying your perfect illusion, but I won't let him hurt you this time!"

 

"This time?" Baekhyun's voice was small and broken, only reacting to his brother's words lifelessly. 

 

"Baek I tried to keep him away from you, I told you he is dangerous, but you never listen." Hyung almost sobbed again and his grip on Baekhyun tightened. "But it’s okay, it's okay, baby. Because it's not you he wants now, it's _me_ – the one he knows killed him. He wants me now and he knows I'd do everything for you– everything to keep you safe–" Hyung's voice broke and he swallowed before he was able to continue.

 

His desperate eyes stared into Baekhyun's lifeless ones as he bent down and pressed their foreheads together.

 

"Baekhyun– Chanyeol destroyed you once. I'm not letting him kill you again. I'll rip him to pieces, I'll end him for good, I won't let him touch you ever again!"

 

-

 

Jongdae didn't answer his calls and Baekhyun only remembered that his friend never existed in the first place when he burst into their coffee shop only to find it deserted and dusty.

 

He was sweaty and out of breath, his face red and his eyes wild as he took in the desolate state of his favorite place on campus where mere hours ago he had sat with his friend and with his boyfriend– a far away life where an overly curious barista had been his greatest concern. 

 

There was only silence and emptiness now. 

 

Baekhyun muffled a scream and turned around to run to his friend's home, but the sudden realization that he didn't know where Jongdae's apartment was made him freeze with his hand on the doorknob. 

 

How didn't he know where Jongdae lived? They'd been friends since forever, always going to university together and–

 

Baekhyun's eyes widened when he realized the mistake in his thoughts. Jongdae had always ever been with him on campus, never anywhere else. It was as if his friend was always here, but ceased to exist whenever he stepped out of university grounds.

 

Baekhyun felt icy cold spreading through his body, numbing him, and for a second he almost lost his balance before he tightened his hand around the doorknob and breathed in deep.

 

That was just coincidence. He exhaled, his whole body shuddering at the effort it took him not to faint. He'd run to Chanyeol's next and tell him everything. He'd bury his face in his boyfriend's neck and have him wrap his warm arms around him while he'd cry and tell him of his crazy hyung. Chanyeol would rock him and comb fingers through his hair while humming to him that everything would be alright again. 

 

Baekhyun wheezed, forced down the tears and with another deep breath pushed the door open to run to his boyfriend's apartment.

 

The whole campus was desolate and an eerie silence was in the air. It was as if the world was holding its breath, waiting for _something_ to tip the fragile balance in one or another way.

 

Baekhyun shivered and felt panic rising in his chest, but with a quick shake of his head forced himself to start running. 

 

 

Chanyeol's apartment was only a ten minute walk from campus, but Baekhyun was gasping and sweating in front of his door not even five minutes later. 

 

His hands were hurting from where he had banged them repeatedly against his boyfriend's door, but not a sound nor light indicated that anyone was inside.

 

Baekhyun sunk to his knees and allowed himself to break down. He sobbed into his hands first, before he pulled up his knees to his chest and cried with his forehead pressed against his tights. 

 

Around him the world stayed silent and motionless and Baekhyun cried for a long while before his sobs subsided and there were no more tears sliding down his cheeks.

 

Exhausted he got up on his shaky legs and he knew that the only place left to him in this dead world was his own home.

 

Home was where safety pulsed through every room and every little touch between him and his brother. Home was the core of this world, Baekhyun understood this now with clarity.

 

It was were Hyung was always waiting for him to keep him safe and protected whenever Baekhyun needed to retreat and curl up in the safety of his brother's arms. Their apartment was his sanctuary and Baekhyun felt every bone in his body, his heart and his soul, too, yearning to be back where he could rest and hide away from this horrible reality.

 

 _But home was where Hyung was waiting for him._ He reminded himself, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.

 

Baekhyun felt his breath hitching at the thought of facing his twin again who'd let him run away with the saddest eyes full of pity. Hyung had known what Baekhyun would find outside of their apartment, he was sure of it now. 

 

But Hyung was also the only one Baekhyun trusted to fix this. Because Hyung would always save his world and- crazy or not- something was happening here and Baekhyun didn't know what to do.

 

 _This is reality, this is reality_ , he mouthed to himself, but deep in his heart he knew that he was lying to himself. The things Hyung had told him which he desperately had not wanted to believe where unfolding in front of his eyes and with every realization Baekhyun felt the foundation of his world shaking even more.

 

He had to run home. He had to beg Hyung to fix this. Hyung had to save Baekhyun's world and let him find Chanyeol.

 

 

The way home was blurry in Baekhyun's memory, but he knew that he wasn't running for long until he stood in front of their apartment again.

 

It was as if he saw it for the first time and his mouth dropped open in shock while tears slipped down his bewildered eyes without him even noticing.

 

It was literally just a door– to nothing. Behind it Baekhyun saw foggy outlines of buildings, but they looked more like unfinished paintings, there to complete the presence of normality. Baekhyun stared at them with empty eyes, his hand reaching for the door handle mechanically.

 

Inside Hyung was waiting for him in their living room, sitting in the middle of dried flowers with a pack of strawberry soy milk in his hands, his lips absentmindedly sucking the sweet drink into his mouth. He wordlessly looked up at him when Baekhyun walked into the middle of the room.

 

"They're all gone," Baekhyun whispered and the way his voice shook had Hyung more alarmed than the tears streaming down his younger brother's cheeks or the way his body trembled so hard it looked like it was convulsing. 

 

"It's because you're afraid," Hyung said quietly, setting down the milk on the flower covered ground as he stood up so carefully and walked with such little steps that Baekhyun realized with confusion that his brother didn't want to scare him.

 

"You're torn between not wanting to believe me and realizing the flaws of your world's logic by yourself."

 

Hyung's hands reached out for him, tender and careful and impossibly caring and Baekhyun shuddered as he leaned into the touch. 

 

"Don't be afraid, Baekhyun," Hyung whispered into his ear as his arms closed gently around the younger's shuddering body. "Nothing is real, not if you don't want it to be. Not even me, not even you."

 

" _Then he must want me to be real damn fucking much!_ " A new voice said and Baekhyun flinched so hard that he felt his heart skip a beat. 

 

Hyung spun around so quickly that Baekhyun almost lost his balance and the sound that ripped from his throat when he saw who had dared to intrude into their sanctuary was barely human. 

 

Chanyeol stood in the middle of their living room, taking in the twins and the room with great interest as he turned unimpressed eyes at Hyung. 

 

"What a sweet little nest. I was wondering what it would look like– the core of your soul, Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol laughed. "I gotta say it's not too impressive."

 

The senior's hands slid over bare walls and stretched to touch flowers drying on top of a low tabletop. "Quite underwhelming. And plain," He laughed again. "But it suits you. You're such a boring little thing, Baekhyun."

 

Baekhyun stared with wide eyes, but barely understood the words thrown at him. Hyung's hands had come up to press against his ears the moment Chanyeol started to talk. Like this all he could really hear was Hyung's heavy and agitated breathing, though Baekhyun rather felt it by the way his brother's chest heaved heavily. 

 

"How the fuck did you enter– it's not possible for anyone who isn't–"

 

"Who isn't you or that shaking puppy in your arms, I know," Chanyeol interrupted with a wide smile, his head tilting as if he was beyond amused by the older twin's rage. "You'll have to thank Baekhyunnie for that. He led me right here."

 

The older twin's hands tightened on Baekhyun's face and the younger boy cried out in distress. They let go of him immediately, but Hyung's arms wrapped around him so tightly that Baekhyun realized with disbelief that his brother was afraid. 

 

But not of Chanyeol, he noted as he stared up at his brother to see him looking at the senior with such hatred in his eyes that Baekhyun felt his heart slamming against his chest. He was afraid for _him_ – for Baekhyun's safety. 

 

He turned his head to stare at Chanyeol, his thoughts a mess and so many different emotions surging through his body that he felt weak and embraced the numbness spreading in him. 

 

Chanyeol was dressed in almost all black. Not once during the time they had dated had he seen his boyfriend in anything else than jeans and oversized tees. Now he was dressed formal, tight pants and a starched white collared shirt tucked in. He was in a long black coat and his hair was out of his face and sleeked back smartly. 

 

Everything looked too serious, too intimidating, too threatening, Chanyeol's arms and legs too long, his form too tall, his eyes too cold. A wide smile was stretching his lips, but it was cruel and scornful as was the look in his eyes.

 

This wasn't the sweet and handsome and goodnatured senior he had admired from afar. This was–

 

Baekhyun choked, distorted images of Chanyeol towering above him, holding him down and slamming fists into his body flashing through his head and making him scream abruptly. He recoiled from the memory of pain and fear pulsing and shocking through his body and only faintly heard his brother frantically calling his name over the sound of Chanyeol's loud laughter. He realized that he was crying when Hyung's hands cupped his cheeks and forced his face up. 

 

"I won't let him hurt you," Hyung said to him softly and the deadly cold he saw in his brother's eye's comforted Baekhyun enough to nod faintly.

 

"I'd like to see you try," Chanyeol scoffed, his long legs carrying him closer until Hyung made another low warning sound at the back of his throat. In the blink of an eye he had pushed Baekhyun behind himself, his body tensing up as he shielded the younger.

 

Chanyeol twisted his mouth in a snide smirk, his head tilting again as he stared at Hyung. "I'm just kidding, babe, chill. I'm not here for _him_ , I told you it's _you_ I want." Chanyeol smiled with all his teeth. "I killed him before, didn't I? Broke his brain to pieces with my fists." He laughed. "I'm done with him. It's you I want to break now."

 

Hyung's eyes darkened, but his own mouth pulled up into a disgusted smirk. "You think you can kill me," he scoffed, the muscles under his skin tensing when Chanyeol took another step closer. "Stop deluding yourself, fucker! I killed you before and I'll do it again."

 

"Oh I know, I know," Chanyeol said off-handedly his smile widening. "Thanks to you I know everything that happened outside of Baekhyunnie's head."

 

He was so close now that he only needed to stretch his arm to touch the older twin, but for now curiosity held him back from striking.

 

"Tell me, babe. Did you kill me good? Am I broken and messy all over the floor? Am I lying in my own blood?"

 

"In your fucking guts, you psycho! I ripped you apart- cut open your flesh and pulled your insides out of you mouth. I cracked your skull like an egg and burnt off your face–" Hyung was breathing heavily, but his voice was oddly calm. He was facing a ghost of Baekhyun's nightmare, but he had killed the real thing before and he knew he could do it again. 

 

Chanyeol laughed quietly and his eyes shone with an utterly unholy gleam. 

 

"Very nice. But you can't kill me, babe. I'm as real as Baekhyunnie wants me to be. _And he gave me his heart._ "

 

With a cry Hyung pushed Baekhyun further back and used the momentum to throw himself at Chanyeol to punch him in the face. The senior's head snapped sideways and blood splattered out of his mouth. His tall body slammed against the nearest wall and for a moment he seemed almost small, before he turned up and caught Hyung's next punch in his hand. 

 

"He gave me his fucking heart!" Chanyeol hissed as he pulled the older twin closer and slammed his knee deep into his stomach. "Do you even know how strong I am?"

 

Hyung sank to his knees wheezing, his eyes wide and disbelieving as he spat out blood. 

 

"Such a sweet and dumb kid," Chanyeol commented as he lunged and buried his foot in Hyung's abdomen with enough force to have the older twin fly sideways. "I really have to thank you, you know?" Chanyeol laughed. "He made me be this boring and kind senior– I had no fucking clue what I was really like. When you came to this world it was as if my eyes were opened- as if I was breathing and living suddenly. I was so dead before, but you gave me back everything and made me feel alive!"

 

Chanyeol squatted down next to where Hyung was coughing and hacking up blood on the floor, one of his large hands reaching out to fist the older twin's bleached hair. He twisted the soft strands roughly, smiling as his harsh jerk had the boy screaming out in pain. 

 

"You kept him clueless to protect him and you warned him again and again, but he still came to me and fell right into my little trap. He believed everything right away– his crush sleeping with his hyung, who's so much stronger and that more handsome than him– god he's so dumb! Jealous of you when it was him who created you like this."

 

Chanyeol laughed when the older twin balled his hands to fists and tried to lunge at him. "He created you to be so intimidating and-" he caught Hyung's fist and twisted his whole arm painfully behind the older twin's back, dislocating the shoulder, before he scoffed, "-so strong." His mouth twisted into a smirk as he listened to the boy's screams. " _Pathetic_."

 

"Baek– Baekhyun. _Baekhyun_ –" 

 

"Oh he can't hear you," Chanyeol laughed as he punched the older twin across the face and then inspected his blood-smeared knuckles. "I think he broke again. He's staring without blinking."

 

Sure enough Baekhyun was emptily staring ahead, his wide eyes bare of any sign of life and his whole body crumpled on the ground. Chanyeol thought he looked cute like that. Cute and broken, _perfect_.

 

He smiled and grabbed the older twin with rough hands. He forced him on his back before he aimed at the boy's nose and let his fist smash against it. The satisfying sound of breaking bones and flecks of blood splattering on his own face had Chanyeol smiling again. In front of him on the floor Hyung was jerking and screaming in agony. 

 

Chanyeol rose to straddle the writhing boy, his hands forcing the older twin's hands from his bloody face to inspect the damage.

 

"Ah, that must be painful," he remarked and reached out to press against the broken mess in the middle of the older twin's face. The resulting scream was music to his ears. "Let me break your teeth next, c'mon smile for me!"

 

It was then that Baekhyun gave a small suffocated sound, something between choking and a sob. 

 

Chanyeol turned to him with great interest, his smile widening when he saw the younger twin crying with dead eyes. He cooed at him. 

 

"Did you break again, Baekhyunnie?" He laughed as he stared at the catatonic boy. His voice was gleeful when he added, "But you can't run away from me anymore, puppy. There isn't a place left where you can hide. We're as deep inside the rabbit hole as it goes."

 

He smiled kindly at the younger twin before he turned back to the older, slamming his knuckles down against the boy's mouth. As intended Hyung's teeth broke and cut through his lips, turning them into bloody shreds as he choked and spat out blood.

 

"Don't worry, Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol grunted as he forced the older twin immobile and fitted the length of his arm horizontally under his broken jaw. "After I finish him I'll kill you next!" He pressed his arm against where it rested on top of the older twin's adams apple and watched the boy choke as he leaned forward onto his arm with all his weight. 

 

"Not for real, of course. I'll keep your cute body alive or else this world will break apart, eh. You'll serve me well."

 

There was no reaction, not that Chanyeol had expected one from Baekhyun. But he didn't mind, content to watch the older twin's eyes rolling back into his head and small veins popping in his eyeballs as he slowly choked him to death. 

 

The senior's own eyes stared at the older twin's useless hands trying to claw his arm away from where it choked him, his mouth twisting to scoff as he saw the tattooed flowers all over the boy's pale skin. They covered every brand and every scar he had put on Baekhyun's 'real' body outside of this world, and scowling he took them as a personal insult, an outrageous sacrilege of his ownership over Baekhyun's body. 

 

"I'm gonna put new ones on him," he hissed at the dying boy underneath him, his eyes narrowed to slits as he pressed his arm even harder against the older twin's neck. "I'm gonna tear out all your flowers, I'll rip apart all their petals, I'll leave them to wither and die while I cut his body open and twist him inside out until he belongs only to me and his body knows no more." 

 

-

 

Somewhere, and he had absolutely no idea where that was, Baekhyun stood in front of a dead body lying on the floor of an apartment that seemed vaguely familiar.

 

The body was so distorted, so broken and bloody and shredded to pieces that Baekhyun could only make out a few fingers lying severed and scattered in a puddle of something so gooey he doubted it was only blood that had leaked out of the body.

 

There was a head, skull smashed in and eyes hanging out, but Baekhyun couldn't recognize the person behind the burnt and distortedly molten skin.

 

He breathed heavily and felt his stomach turning, but when he wanted to squeeze his eyes shut he realized that he couldn't. He blinked and felt with confusion... that he could.

 

Baekhyun looked down to stare at the corpse again, but this time felt a sense of vertigo, as if the floor was too far away from where he was staring down at it. He frowned, but only realized what was going on when he sank down to his feet to sit.

 

His body wasn't moving– only that it did! But not the one standing in front of the corpse, just _Baekhyun's body_ the one he felt and that still seemed to stare down at the horribly disfigured body from too far above even though he just sat down. His frown deepened, but it didn't take him long to understand.

 

He was still in his head. Somewhere at the outer parts of his sanity maybe, with a direct link to his real eyes. Baekhyun realized that he was an insubstantial body inside of his real body which was standing in front of...of who actually?

 

Who was the pitiable, ripped and violated body bleeding out on the floor?

 

 _'You know who'_ A small and familiar voice whispered, but when Baekhyun turned his head he was alone.

 

Hyung? He asked aloud, his heart in pain as it jumped in desperate yearning for the older twin. But no one answered and Baekhyun sniffled in hopelessness. He wanted to go home.

 

He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be alone– god! He never wanted to be alone again, and he didn't want to stare at what little was left of Chanyeol after his hyung had killed him–

 

Baekhyun gasped, his eyes widening in realization and his head snapped around to stare at the corpse in disbelief.

 

It was Chanyeol. Or what was left of him when Hyung had killed him. _'Before he killed us, I had to protect you, Baekhyun. I promised.'_

 

Baekhyun shuddered, but oddly enough there were no tears in his eyes. Slowly the memories came back. Everything he had pushed away, everything that had no place in his beautiful world far away from reality. Everything he never wanted to remember again– it all came back.

 

He remembered the day he met Hyung, when his father and his real brother had hurt him after a week of starving him. He had been six and Hyung had been there all of a sudden- a stronger version of himself to wrap him in his arms. He had told him pretty things, distant memories of their mother who had smelled of flowers and who had loved them so much.

 

He remembered the day he met Jongdae, his imaginary friend when no one at school had wanted to sit beside him and play with him. He had been eight, dirty and with the haunted look of a wounded animal in his eyes. Jongdae had licked those wounds and had become his best friend, always there for him in the world outside of home.

 

He remembered the day he met Chanyeol, 16 years old and staring longingly at the high schoolers in their uniforms while he'd stocked up the shelves of the small convenience store right at the school's front gate. Chanyeol had been a senior about to graduate, a customer who saw the hopeless yearning in his eyes and gave him a little bit of normality by pulling him outside of the shop and dragging him along the school grounds. They had started to date after that, their hands entwined as they had run from the disciplinary committee members.

 

He remembered moving in with Chanyeol, leaving his abusive childhood behind only to slip onto an even more ill-fated path.

 

He remembered the fear when Chanyeol had changed for the first time, the pain when he had cut and beat scars on his body. He remembered their peaceful days gradually turning into a sustained nightmare. He remembered Hyung holding him together until it became too much, too painful, _so unbearable_ that he broke to pieces and left his twin, that braver fragment of himself, to mend what had been left of him.

 

He remembered the home he built in his soul. His small apartment full of dried flowers, smelling sweetly and reminding him of his mother, just as Hyung's tattoos did– a flower to mend his broken soul for every scar killing him little by little.

 

Baekhyun shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the tears. It wasn't the apartment in his mind that was his soul, he realized. It were the flowers inked on Hyung's skin. The delicate feelings of hope and love and protection his twin had put over the marks of hate and abuse to make Baekhyun understand just how precious he was, _how loved he was_.

 

Outside of his head the pain had been reality and Chanyeol's abuse had been his life. But here in his head Hyung's feelings for him were his soul, a million times stronger than his abused heart.

 

Baekhyun sobbed and wrapped his arms around himself. He wanted to go home, he wanted to go home– he wanted to go home to his hyung.

 

 

Chanyeol was staring contentedly at the dead boy in front of him. Hyung's face had turned a lovely shade of purple and Chanyeol chuckled as he grabbed a few of those miserably dried flowers scattered all around the apartment and flicked them on his motionless body.

 

"Rest in peace, bitch," He laughed and turned to grab the younger twin. He almost doubled over when he saw Baekhyun standing on his feet, an unfathomable look in his eyes.

 

"Baekhyunnie!" He exclaimed and his mouth twitched, "You're back– a bit too late I'm afraid. Your hyung's already dead. But let me get rid of the blood on my hands and I'll love you good in his place, hmn?"

 

Baekhyun stared at him as if he didn't understand a word of what he said and shrugging Chanyeol stepped closer. He didn't mind keeping the younger twin even if he was broken beyond repair. He looked so cute staring up at him with his wide eyes. Chanyeol smiled and wiped the older twin's blood from his face.

 

"You can't kill Hyung," Baekhyun's soft voice cut through his thoughts and surprised Chanyeol turned his eyes back on him. "You're not even real– You're just as real as I let you."

 

Chanyeol's smile only slipped for a second before he had it back under control. He was in front of Baekhyun in three long strides and pulled the boy into his bloodied arms almost tenderly. Baekhyun let him, oddly passive, only staring ahead when his face was pressed against Chanyeol's starched shirt.

 

Chanyeol's hands were slipping under his sweater, one running wet palms up and down his spine, the other following the gentle curve of his side. Baekhyun shivered in his boyfriend's hold when Chanyeol's fingers dipped along his ribs. The senior was cooing at him, gripping his skin and rubbing circles on the bruises he pinched as if to soothe. When he pushed the boy's abdomen firmly against his pelvis, Baekhyun wasn't surprised to notice that Chanyeol was hard.

 

"Oh Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol groaned as he buried his nose in the boy's pink hair. "You have no idea how much I want you. I want to fuck you bathed in your brother's blood."

 

Baekhyun blinked and finally reached out to clutch Chanyeol's black coat in his pale fingers. The way his long digits sunk and shone so brightly in contrast to the dark cloth reminded Baekhyun of naked bones and with a shudder he thought of the way Chanyeol's corpse was lying ripped to pieces in the real world.

 

"Oh baby, are you trembling?" Chanyeol laughed, one of his hands slipping under the waistband of Baekhyun's jeans. It cupped an ass cheek before gripping the flesh tightly, the harsh touch jolting Baekhyun out of his numbness. "I'm going to give it to you so good."

 

He felt Chanyeol grinding against him, his hard cock pressing firmly against his unresponsive crotch. He felt his boyfriend's large hands on his body, wet and sticky with his hyung's blood. He felt Chanyeol's hot breath on his skin and his arousal in the way his fingers dug bruises into him.

 

Baekhyun leaned into his boyfriend's touch, raising on his tiptoes to crane his neck over Chanyeol's shoulder. He was leaning against the senior completely, but Chanyeol's arms and hands were gripping him so tight that he had no fear of losing his balance. Instead he stared at where Hyung was lying dead and broken in his own blood.

 

Baekhyun gasped when fingers dipped along the cleft between his ass cheeks, his breathing becoming stained when Chanyeol bore fingers inside his hole. He was still staring at his hyung, his eyes slowly filling with tears when he realized how truly broken his world was.

 

What he loved was dead and what he had run away from followed him into his dreams to catch him and turn everything into a nightmare again.

 

Baekhyun choked when Chanyeol thrusted his fingers deep inside his channel and cried out at the way the senior's nails cut into his walls. He squeezed his eyes shut in distress and suppressed the sobs.

 

It was time to end it. It was time to let go of his heart and to mend his soul by himself.

 

Baekhyun felt his eyes swimming with tears as he opened them and stared at the flowers Chanyeol had thrown on top of his murdered hyung's body.

 

_'A petal for every word of hate, for every mark of pain, for every drop of blood you shed. Because you are so sweet, so innocent and so lovely. And because you only deserved to be loved and given good things. Because you should have grown up so loved and so protected.'_

 

Hyung, Baekhyun cried in his head and his heart seized in his chest as the tears finally slid down his cheeks. I'm so sorry Hyung, I'm so sorry. I should have believed you, but I wanted to forget it all.

 

He cried out when Chanyeol crooked his fingers and rubbed his insides so harshly that he felt his knees weakening. The senior was still cooing at him, his tall body trembling with the suppressed urge to rip Baekhyun apart.

 

Baekhyun felt his heart twisting in his chest, the last bit of his desperate wish that Chanyeol wasn't what he now knew him to be. He felt it tear and break when he listened to the senior mutter words to him, whispers of how he'd destroy Baekhyun little by little, tenderly even, until he'd be shaped and moulded and reduced to nothing more than what Chanyeol wanted him to be.

 

"I'll take your world away, Baekhyunnie. Because that should be me, I should be your everything."

 

"But you're not," Baekhyun whispered, finally breaking his silence.

 

He felt Chanyeol's fingers freezing on his body, but ignored the way it had goosebumps forming all over his skin. Nothing of this was real anyway and a sense of calm and cold, too, spread over his whole body. His muddled thoughts became crystal clear and for a second Baekhyun knew exactly what was going to happen, what he had to do and to where everything would lead.

 

Chanyeol was slipping his fingers out of him to grab his bony shoulders and to push him away from his broad chest. He stared down at Baekhyun with his dark eyes, his snide smile still dancing on his lips. But there was flashing something though his eyes, something akin to discontent. It brought a faint smile on Baekhyun's own lips.

 

"I'm everything that's left to you," Chanyeol hissed, his nails digging into Baekhyun's bones. "You have _nothing_ but me. Now be a good little slut and go back to your broken self."

 

How, Baekhyun thought as he stared at Chanyeol and felt pain and revulsion churning in his guts, did he allow this ghost of a nightmare to hurt him like this. Why did he allow Chanyeol into his world when he run to hide from him?

 

_'Because you loved him. You loved him for so long and so so much, but it's enough now, Baekhyun. Let go of him, baby. It's okay.'_

 

"I loved you," Baekhyun whispered, the words weighting a ton on his tongue. "I loved you– more than Hyung, more than Jongdae, more than–"

 

"Oh yeah" Chanyeol scoffed as he interrupted him. " _Jongdae_ – Your imaginary friend. You made him quite the looker– I always wondered what he'd be like." He shook his head, but his eyes were amused. "You're such a messed up broken shit, do you even know that?"

 

He let go of Baekhyun's shoulder with one of his hands to snatch the boy's chin between his rough fingers as he leaned in. "Who will even bother with you if not me? You're such a worthless, broken shit, Baekhyunnie."

 

Baekhyun breathed in heavily his eyes glancing away from Chanyeol to stare behind him at Hyung. The fingers on his chin tightened and Baekhyun flinched when his head was jerked up to force him to stare at Chanyeol.

 

"I killed him, you only have me now." Chanyeol's voice was silky soft as it whispered to him mellifluously. "I'm your everything now."

 

Baekhyun shuddered, but shook his head. It only widened the smile on Chanyeol's lips.

 

"Oh yes, Baekhyunnie. You know it's true. You gave me your heart and I killed your soul," Chanyeol's thumb stroked softly along the curve of his jaw. "What's left of you belongs to me now. And I promise I'll keep good care of you for a long long time before I kill you."

 

"You can't kill my soul!" Baekhyun sobbed out, jerking his head out of Chanyeol's hands. "You can't kill Hyung. You can't kill anyone, Chanyeol. _This is my world_. It's enough!" His voice was barely above a whisper and he was fighting the tears, but he meant every word and by the way Chanyeol tensed he knew the senior realized this as well.

 

He pushed his boyfriend away from himself, feeling sick and miserable when Chanyeol stared at him with nothing but hatred in his eyes.

 

"If you kill me now you'll be all alone," He hissed and his mouth twisted into a terrible, cruel grimace. "And we both know how you can't be alone to save your fucking life!" Chanyeol burst out laughing. " _Literally_!"

 

 _'Baekhyun'_ a voice sighed before Baekhyun could break down in tears at Chanyeol's words.

 

I know, Hyung, he thought as he closed his eyes and shook his head. I'll end it now. I'll let go.

 

" _Listen to me, bitch_!" Chanyeol's bloodied hands reached out for him and Baekhyun watched them lung at him with indifferent eyes. He felt detached now, almost numb as he stared at what was left of his ideal version of Chanyeol.

 

Everything he had loved and everything he had clung to was this distorted nightmare of his sweetest memory– the day Chanyeol had saved him with his love. But it wasn't Chanyeol who had made sure he wouldn't fall apart in the end. It hadn't been Chanyeol who had kept him save.

 

" _I'm going to destroy you! I'll do it now, I'll fucking kill y–"_

 

In the blink of an eye Chanyeol ceased to exist and Baekhyun exhaled, inhaled and exhaled and let it all go.

 

-

 

He was standing in a field of dried flowers.

 

Around him his world was dissolving into fog, the silence swallowing every sound and every color besides the soundlessly swaying plants around him. The flowers were shedding their dead petals when he started crying and Baekhyun wished the remnants of his world away as he sunk down on the ground. His shaking fingers clutched some of the scattered flowers in his hands as he sobbed into his knees. He wanted his twin back. He wanted everything to be good and right again. _He wanted his twin back._

 

He needed him so much and wanted to feel his strong arms around his body, because all alone he felt like breaking apart. Chanyeol was right about that, he couldn't survive being alone– he never had been good coping with it and he had always resorted to the most drastic way to escape it, breaking apart and creating Hyung and Jongdae.

 

But where was Hyung now? Why didn't he come to save him?

 

It wasn't long until the soft touch of fingers running through his hair shook him out of his misery. With a gasp Baekhyun jerked up his head, his wet eyes widening when he saw Hyung kneeling next to him and looking at him with sad eyes.

 

"Baekhyun," his twin called and when he took back his hand to awkwardly spread his arms for him Baekhyun didn't hesitate to throw himself against his brother's chest.

 

"Hyung," he sobbed. " _Hyung–_ "

 

He was rocked gently, his brother's hands never stopping to run up and down his back. Baekhyun clutched his brother's hoody tightly in his fingers, tucking his head under his twin's chin to breathe in the comforting scent that clung to his skin. With his nose pressed against Hyung's neck Baekhyun felt the waves of sadness and pain and loneliness calming down instead of drowning him.

 

"It's okay, baby," Hyung murmured, his face tilting to bed it on top of Baekhyun's head. "You called me back and I'll never leave you again."

 

Baekhyun muffled a sob, hidden in the crook of his twin's neck when he doubled over and grabbled along Hyung's broad shoulders with shaking fingers. He was so afraid to let go.

 

"I love you so much, Baekhyun. You created me to protect you and I promise you that I will, forever. You're the most important thing to me- in both worlds! I'll keep you safe from everything."

 

 

It was quiet for a while, the twins just sitting in a tight embrace in the middle of the dead flower field.

 

"What happens to us now?" Baekhyun whispered against Hyung's skin, the tip of his nose rubbing against his brother's jugular in a silent plea for more comfort.

 

Hyung's arms tightened around him and a kiss was pressed to the top of his head. Around them the dead flowers rustled in a sudden upwind and Baekhyun shivered in his brother's arms.

 

"You'll rebuild your world that you love so much. Not...as a place to hide. But as your sanctuary. A place where you can be happy. You know the truth now, I won't ruin it again- that is if you want me to be part of your world again."

 

Hyung's voice was small and Baekhyun pulled back to look into his eyes in alarm.

 

" _Oh, Hyung,_ " He breathed out when he saw his brother cry. The sight pierced through his throbbing heart and made him wrap his arms around his brother's neck tightly. "I know that this isn't reality. But I don't care, Hyung! Because here I can be with you– because here we both have bodies and I can hold you in my arms like this."

 

Baekhyun gripped the soft hair strands on his brother's nape and pulled slightly, trying to grasp a sense of reality as the world around them slipped into grey nothingness once and for all.

 

"Don't leave me Hyung. Don't leave me ever again."

 

 

Rebuilding his world would take time and Baekhyun knew this.

 

He created a home in a different flower field first, in the middle of a lively, colorful, jubilant sea of poppies. Their new home was similar to their apartment from before, but where dried flowers had covered the ground and their furniture, lively and never wilting red beckoned them home now.

 

It was a sanctuary for eternity, because Baekhyun had asked what would happen to them when Hyung had told him to make it last forever.

 

"Our body in the real world will be found sooner or later," Hyung had answered and he had kissed the tips of Baekhyun's fingers as he had said that. "We'll be found standing in front of a murdered body. They'll lock us away or execute us, but we'll be safe here."

 

Someone else was running the body, Hyung had said. Someone who had no name and no other function than to make sure their body was working its minimum.

 

"Whoever it is that took over, it doesn't have a mind of its own. It's a ghost– sleepwalking, apathetic, you don't need to cry for it, baby."

 

But Baekhyun had cried, for the lost dreams and the lost hopes and all the things he had wished for only to witness them twist into sinister nightmares. It had been the last time he had cried for his painful existence outside of his new world. It had been the last time he had thought of Chanyeol, too, before he buried the memory of him in his flower fields.

 

Weeks passed and he built his world hidden in the arms of his brother, dozing and dreaming it to existence to the gentle sway of flowers around them.

 

It was a Monday morning, when time and space started running and mattering again. Baekhyun was lying on top of his twin, their hands intertwined and their mouths kissing when his phone chimed softly at an incoming text. It was Jongdae.

 

' _Hey, u called? I was sleeping sry! Want 2 meet up at our coffee shop? Feels like we didn't talk in ages! Cu in 15?'_

 

Baekhyun smiled and felt his whole world falling into place. He grabbed his phone to reply, his heart feeling light and happy. Everything was as it was supposed to be, and this time Baekhyun knew that it was a good thing.

 

He looked down at Hyung's arms wrapped around his torso and followed the endless pattern of flowers on his brother's skin. Everything was so peaceful, so perfect. Hyung pulled him closer against his chest and bent down to kiss his neck. He bedded his head sideways on top of the younger's shoulder, watching him quietly as Baekhyun started to hum.

 

Outside their poppy field swayed in a soft breeze and the wind carried the faint scent of old and loving memories inside.

 

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> for your convenience: _the entire fic takes place in Baekhyun's head. nothing is real_.  
>  While all of this happens in his head, Baekhyun's body in the real world is standing next to his  
> dead and butchered abuser's (Chanyeol's) corpse, staring into nothing basically.  
>  _Chanyeol in this fic is a liar._ (some people seemed to be confused about this)
> 
>  
> 
> also: poppies (the flowers of Baekhyun's soul) can mean sleep, oblivion and death.  
> It's a symbol for losing one's self. However they can also mean comfort.


End file.
